Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Surfing In LA, Nobody Surfs In LA; Part 1

"Surfing in LA, Surfing in L-A, Nobody Surfs in LA…" -Pissing Persons
Surf stoke in LA constantly dwindles like a candle held by an Amsterdam hooker.  Maintaining your surf stoke in LA is like being one of those rabbits chasing a carrot around a race track.  Once you have your surf stoke back, you better hope you have a tight vice grip on it, cause letting go in LA is as easy as getting a phone call from the Playboy mansion, not that I would know what that's like or anything…

So far, my surf stoke in LA has been like a roller-coaster ride on sizzurp.  One month I'm frothing at the mouth and I chill with Poseidon so frequently that he gets sick of me.  The next month, the darkside of LA gets me in a headlock and I find myself waking up next to who-knows-what in an opium den swarming with muskrats and tzatziki sauce (half true story dot gov).  I'm sure I'm not the only one who's a victim of this heinous crime but I most certainly won't be one to stand back and watch the surf stoke dissolve before my eyes any longer.  Whether it's sleeping on the beach (again), installing a breathalyzer on my Surfline account, or giving my self lashings for each good swell I miss, I'm going to make it my mission to re-ignite the surf stoke inside of me and others around me in this treacherous town known as LA.  

Somewhere in the distance, lies an ocean...  
I'll be exploring the things that hold us frothers back and ultimately deter us from making it to Poseidon's Playground.  Whether it's traffic, trogs, testicle turbulence, or Tiffani Amber Thiessen temptations, I will make it my duty to slay these demons with an iron fist!  They are solely obstacles in the way of our path to greatness.  LA is the enemy, and the ocean is our golden princess who patiently awaits our caress; let the games begin mother fucker! 
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2 comments:

  1. you try take a pictua o' me, i thro this coffee in yo maaa fukin faCE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha ZACK LEE Wiles! Still can't believe that Vagrant said that to you, nailed it on the head!

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