Friday, December 31, 2010

Top 3 Pet Peeves of 2010

They say negativity is the ROOT of all evil, I say life without a daily ROOT is just plain evil.  2010 was good to me in so many ways but instead of being Mr. happy-go-lucky as always, I've decided to shine some light on the negative things that pissed me the fuck off this last year.  Lets get down to business.

SAH's Top 3 Pet Peeves of 2010

#1  The Home Depot
Not only is The Home Depot one of the biggest stores I've ever walked into but, the place smells like shit and everybody in there seems to have paint chips up their ass!  As I seldom walk around that hell hole like a chicken with his head cut off, I might as well have a sign that says "hold my hand, I'm trying to build a cake", I still have yet to have a single worker even notice my haole ass!  Next time I go in there in hopes of building a skate ramp, finding some ding repair supplies, or tubes for my 2-in-1 beer pong/bidet, I think I'd have better luck asking Tonya Harding for a spare crowbar...

#2  SUP-Boarders
If Satan and Hades got shneeked out and fucked up on absinthe all night, blacked out, and awoke 9 months later with a baby, there is no doubt in my mind its name would be SUP!  Satan's sled and the janitor's throne, Stand Up Paddleboarding has to be the absolute worst fucking invention ever made.  I'm convinced that the people who ride/buy these pieces of shit also sign their self dignity away in a contract stating "upon setting foot on said Paddleboard, my balls will shrink inside of my stomach and my wiener will revert into a rainbow flag".

Not only do they look like kooks, they act like kooks too!  I saw some dude on one of these things the other day wearing Nike running shoes, a Wizards starter jacket, reading glasses, a beanie, and driving gloves.  Not only was he dressed to impress, I'm pretty sure he was eating a Subway sandwich while his dog was walking all around his board dropping pieces of William SHATner all over his pirate plank!  Leave your fuckin broom and pieces of sidewalk in boys town!

#3  Babies On A Plane  
This year's North Shore adventure = 45 Days of perfect surf, hot pro hoes ready to give wristys at the drop of a dime, raging parties that make Hollywood look like a kiosk, and  an endless supply of beer/energy shneex/sex/drugs/rock n roll!  Too bad I was stuck in a fucking nerdbot trailer during my entire stint on The Rock and only got to witness said activities through a dweeb monitor.  Needless to say, when the day came for me to go back to Cali, I was more than frothing at the mouth to hop on da plane!  Until...

I arrived at my seat, took a quick look around, and soon realized I was surrounded by fucking babies!  "Not to worry brah" I thought to myself as I pondered whether or not their parents were in fact holding Nyquil, a pacifier, or at least a teletubby to shut them the hell up if they so even farted?  Unfortunately, the only thing these parents held was a reckless abandon to not give a shit if them and their damn baby were disturbing the peace!  Normally I'd just put on my headphones and blast some electrohell with my iPod to drone out the noise if the storm came my way.  Unfortunately my iPod was broken and so no sound other than stale recycled shit air and the possibility of a baby's cry would make it into my eardrum that day.  And then came the rain...

Dual firing babies crying about who knows what, crossfired into my ear sockets like Tickle-Me-Elmo on cat nip!  Left, right, front, back, up, up, down, down, left, right, B, A, select, start (contra ultimate lives)... babies were coming from everywhere and they were crying like they were getting paid for it!  I tried to bare it for the first 5 minutes, put a blanket over my ears and a pillow over my face, but to no avail!  BABIES!  CRYING FUCKING BABIES!  EVERYWHERE!  4 Hours of crying babies and SAH-bbing SAH, I awoke from the nightmare, released some methane in all of the babies directions, said goodbye to the StewardASS, hopped on my SUP board, and rode to the nearest Home Depot in hopes of finding an idiot to point me to the nearest contraption that would chop my ears off...

May your 2011 be filled with positive vibrations brada!  Roooots rock reggae!
Best Blog Tips

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Taylor Steele's InnerSection SoundTrack

After hours, days, weeks, and months of scouring the World Wide Web (actually it only took like 30 minutes), I've managed to rile up all of the tracks from Taylor Steele's latest video project entitled Innersection (See previous post for details).  Whether you're a lover of ElectroHell and Indie, enjoy all the tunes from the flick, or just want to find that song that you drooled over while Parko was seducing you with his laybacks, I've got it all right here!  Some songs you can play, some songs you can download, some take you to a video or an iTunes link, but ALL tracks are ready to be frothed!  Enjoy!
Intro:  Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros- The Desert Song *
Joel Parkinson:  The Joy Formidable- While The Flies
John Florence:  GBH- The Forbidden Zone
Mike Lossness:  The Naked & Famous- Punching In A Dream *
Peter Devries:  White Rabbits- Percussion Gun
Mikala Jones:  Fitz & The Tantrums- Money Grabber  *
Ben Bourgeois:  Future Islands- Flicker and Flutter
Gabriel Villaran:  Cycle- Apple Tree
Luke Cederman:  Late of the Pier- Space and the Woods
Brent Dorrington:  PAMPAMPAM!- Dark City Dancer *
Nat Young:  Royksopp- This Must Be It 
Ozzy Wrong:  Ozzy Wrong- The Unicorn From Planet Zorb
Marlon Gerber:  Chew Lips- Salt Air
Dylan Graves:  Las Robertas- Ghost Lover
Flynn Novak:  I Monster- Daydream In Blue *
Alex Gray:  Delorean- Metropolitan Death 3
Nate Tyler:  White Lies- E.S.T. *
Cory Lopez:  Nico Vega- This Too Shall Pass
Matt Meola:  Alice In Videoland- We Are Rebels *
Marco Giorgi:  Mumford & Sons- The Cave *
Pat Gudauskas:  Magic Wands- Black Magic
Josh Kerr:  Brad Sucks- Making Me Nervous
Ry Craike: Kasabian- Fire
Craig Anderson: DJ NM- Iglooo*** (Thanks to the 2 anonymous dudes for leading me to this track)
Clay Marzo:  The Macabees- No Kind Words
10X Kelly Slater:  We Were Promised Jet Packs- Keeping Warm
End Credits:  Tim Fite- Big Mistake
*Andy Irons Bonus Section:  State Radio- Knights of Bostonia

Remember, SAH doesn't support music piracy and the available tracks on this blog should be considered promotional samples only.  We urge our readers to support the artists by clicking on our buy links or by going to see them live when they froth by.  If an artist/label would like an mp3 removed, please contact us at SurfAmbassadorHendo(@)gmail(dot com). 
Best Blog Tips

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

30 Sec Film Review: InnerSection

Surf media mogul T Steele is at it again, but this time you've decided his next movie's fate.  Kinda like a choose your own adventure (minus RL Stein), Taylor's latest flick entitled InnerSection is a movie that is surfer created, viewer selected, and ocean inspired (previously SAH-t after here).  I went to the premiere in Honolulu a while back and to be honest, I don't even remember there being a TV in the bar.  Anywhoo, the DVD is out now and the last remaining piece in the InnerSection puzzle is for you to decide whose part deserves to win $100,000!?    

With a cast filled with 25 super stars and hopefuls alike, InnerSection is definitely not lacking any surf porn.  In between the surf porn lies the occasional skit, amazing cinematography, and/or a skit that makes fun of skits.  Ultimately, the only thing that InnerSection lacks is myrt ass but it surely makes up for this lack with a pretty good soundtrack, which may or may not be posted on here shortly...

SAH's Top 3 Favorite parts:
1.)  Craig Anderson- Fluid and stylish surfing that he makes look too damn easy and too damn fun.  Helicopter shots + a feel-good electrohell summer-vibe track.  Truly motivating section.  Froth level: 8.5.
2.)  Marco Giorgi- Bag o' tricks, steezy turns, and sick pit stops.  Nice cinematography + classic Mumford and Sons track.  Somewhat emo, but still inspiring.  May have gotten first place if I was a regular foot.  Froth level: 8.
3.)  Matt Meola- Mind-baffling maneuvers, groundbreaking aerial tactics, and life above the lip.  Good edit + epic electrohell track.  This kid blew me away, he's definitely got a bright future ahead of him!  Froth level: 8.5.
* Bonus:  AI's bonus section

Great Expectations:
DVD cost: $27
DVD length:  1 hour 20 minutes
Good:  The Film is dedicated to the memory of AI.  It's chalk filled with mental surfing, some great songs, and some great cinematography.
Bad:  No Dane, no Jordy, no Mick, no K-Robb.
Ugly:  Losness, Cederman.
Expected stand outs that met expectations:  Parko, John John, Nat Young, Flynn Novak, Cory Lopez, Pat Gudauskas, Josh Kerr, Clay Marzo, Slater
Unexpected stand outs that exceeded expectations: Dylan Graves, Nate Tyler, Alex Gray, Matt Meola, Marco Gioorgi, Craig Anderson
Expected stand outs that unfortunately did not meet expectations:  Marlon Gerber, Ry Craike
Myrt count: 1 Nurse (mad decent)
Would I take this DVD with me on a deserted island? Yes
Would I wipe my ass with this DVD? No
Would I use this DVD as a coaster at Adelitas in TJ while watching a donkey show and talking to Rick Ross on the celly?  May be
Will I be looking to edit a pro's part for the next InnerSection?  Yes
One word to describe: Shweet
Overall Froth level (out of 10):  8

Props to all the surfers and filmmakers for progressing our sport and thinking outside of the (munching) box!
Best Blog Tips

Monday, December 27, 2010

Myrtle Monday: Cougars n Coffee

Fack mates, I don't know what I'm more stoked on today; the sick peaky roots ass Blacks Beach session wit da boyz or chatting it up with some firing cougar at Starbulz who was supposedly staring at my butthole whilst I was putting some coffee in my sugar.  Watched Indecent Proposal last night and I almost popped through the pillow I was blocking my woddy with whilst watching!  So today for Myrtle Monday (just like any other day) I will honor the cougars, Fack, here's a shneek peak:

The way things are goin around here, looks like this site might just become the Myrtle Kingdom.  Step up or step out!
Best Blog Tips

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Myrtle Monday: Doesn't Have to to be Monday to Myrt Watch

Yo mofuckaz, I'm back in Cali and finally around some ethernet so there may start to be some more updates headed yo way.  In the meantime, I've missed Myrtle Mondays so much that I thought I'd throw this lovely lil flick by Bag Raiders up on da site to get your froth back on!  To say I wish I was that stupid fucking monkey is an understatement of a lifetime...
Best Blog Tips

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Frothy Point Vid

Rocky Point aka Frothy Point is straight up the town bicycle of the North Shore.  She's got two legs, and she knows how to use them.  Her left is a playful yet shallow speedster that offers the occasional barrell section and the more than frequent air section (if you dare).  Her right is as treacherous as going to the wax museum and laying on a bed of nails whilst E. Honda sits on you reading War and Peace while eating a bucket of Arapaho Lard!  Not to mention her outer tentacles that constantly lure you deeper and deeper into her deadly realm (some have even gone so far as calling Rocky Point "Treadmills").  Not to mention the constant crowds that clutter her blouse.  So far I've surfed Rocky's once this year...

While I was out seeking peaks at Pupakea and Kammie's this year, some of the World's best shralpers (including the East Coast's finest featured below) were giving Rocky's a run for her money.  Don't take my word for it though, check out the clip below that was shot, edited, and frothed by my buddy El Carmino aka rage cage masta who knows wazzuppppp!

One more week left on the rock, see you Cali frothers soon...
Best Blog Tips

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Hats Off!

My buddy Po over at The AMPAL Creative has been on a tear recently.  AMPAL just dropped two major bombs that are sure to knock the socks off your ass!  Whether or not you're bald, have flowy Fabio locks, or wear a merkin on a regular basis, AMPAL's latest hats are straight up rubber necking-panty droppers!  Trust me when I say this, act fast and order yourself one of the hats you see below cause the Dope hats have already sold out on the AMPAL Site (try the stampD' store).

Bomb #1:
AMPAL Creative's Dope collabo hat with stampD' LA (so fucking clean and so G!)

Bomb #2:
AMPAL Creative's DirtyGlyphics collabo hat with Gotta Dance Dirty:
"The dirtiest hat since Daft Punk played at King Tut's Sweet 16."- Gotta Dance Dirty
Best Blog Tips

Monday, December 13, 2010

Dane Reynolds IS The Most Interesting Man In Surfing

It's tricks like above and vids below that will forever cement Dane as the most interesting Man in surfing in and out of the water!  Keep doin what you're doin DR, surfing desperately needs more character!
Best Blog Tips

Friday, December 10, 2010

Let There Be Light!

Photo cred: Puke Stebs
At the tail end of Movember and the end of the Sunset comp, I finally got my ass out of the nerd-trailer and decided to peep the finals for a bit.  The waves were nothing close to years past that the Sunset monster has delivered but the final was packed with a few of my favorites including Aussie rippers Julian Wilson and Josh Kerr.  As you can tell from above, I was more than stoked to get outside for once, rep the lordish Afends cap, and watch some dudes boost!  Big ups to Afends for the roots cap and props to Julian for being behind me when Malia Manuel walked by as I thought she was saying hi to me, fackkk...

While we're at it, check out the new Afends vid depicting their story and the route they took to become lords.  Always frothin, neva slothin, Afends and da boyz keep it rockin!
Best Blog Tips

Fanning's Trog Ass Clip

Haven't had much time to update the blog or do more vids so I thought I'd throw some other shit at yaz.  Here's a clip Eugene made depicting what life's been like for me the past few weeks, minus the ripping and trogs of course...
Best Blog Tips