Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Only Balls You Need In Surfing Are Your Own!
A) The only way main stream sports are actually cool is if you're at the actual game getting drunk and picking up on rando athletic myrts who most likely practice yoga, like to drink beer, and froth way harder over surfers than the rest of the meathead rubber neacks in the crowd.
B) I never play the main stream sports that are on tv so why even bother watching them when I could watch a surf video and mentally tattoo Dane's backside air reverses or K-Robb's tail wafts into my dome instead?
C) Everyone puts the same lame facebook status about basketball or baseball: "Love my Lakers" "This is the year bay-bay" "Doyers for life dawg!" "Did you see that catch/basket/ass grab?!!" "omg so excited for the game! omg, just got matching team outfits for me and my dog omg! omg! yay!" "Just got pulled over for popping my collar too high but it's all good cause my team won dawg!" blah blah blah
D) It takes literally no skill to throw a ball into a basket or swing a stick to hit a pebble or catch a croissant in the middle of a grass field for that matter.
E) I'd like to see Kobe or Larry Bird or Nolan Ryan or who the hell ever plays sports these days charge one of these facking massive pits that Hippo and his homies huck themselves into:
Bitter broke brada
You've Just Been Frothed by SURF AMBASSADOR HENDO