Wednesday, May 12, 2010

3D Shit Is Lame

What's so cool about 3D shit anyways?
Other than the picture above and the possibilities in that realm, I straight up think 3D is some of the dumbest shit that I've seen in a while.  Everyone in the World has a hard on for the supposed "magic" that 3D film and tv shows create.  The magic is a hoax, don't believe the hype.

I'm proud to say that I'm probably the last person on the planet who has yet to actually watch Avitar so I'm not gonna bash that one till i see it (which will most likely be never).  However, I've seen some shit they're trying to do with 3D surfing, skating, snowboarding, motorcorssing, boardshorts, cereal, slip n' slides, and even SOAP for cryin out loud and they all make me wanna take my finger, shove it down my throat, run to the nearest Walmart and straight up ralph all over their 3D isle. 

Why do I hate this shit so much?  Couple reasons:
a)  I'm getting old and my eyes are starting to suck (I seriously can barely read my drink tabs at the bar, great convo starter tho, gets em every time) so trying to put those stupid fucking glasses on my face and actually focus is twice as much work for me and it ends up giving me the worst head ache. 
b)  If I wanted to wear some stupid glasses that made me look like an idiot, I'd wear Arabian sunglasses on the reg (or Sabres).
c)  3D technology does not work well with surfing what so ever because both platforms are moving (the wave and the surfer) and the computer isn't smart enough to make it look cool yet.
e)  Corporations expect people to be stupid enough to buy anything with the word 3D on it
f)  People are stupid enough to buy anything with the word 3D on it
g)  Tron already came out with this idea like 28 years ago 
h)  If you really want to experience something cool, don't be lazy, just do it in your real life
i)  4D will come out in a year and everything 3D will be outdated, Jurassic, and "sooooo 2010"
j)  The projector screen costs a couple G's so when you try to grab Keira Knightley's ass and accidentally rip through the screen, you're shit out of luck
k)  The new 3D Hollywood movie based on a true story about Stand Up Paddle boarding is starring Zach Effron, Justin Beiber, Kevin Federline, and Spencer form the hills.  But it's not what you think, it's actually a gay porno...
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