Thursday, April 1, 2010

Surf Ambassador Hendo Arrested

Hello friends, I am writing to you from jail cell #308 block A7 in the Clark County Detention facilities of Nevada.  No joke, the coppers said I could have one phone call but I convinced them with a lot of deep-fried twinkies to give me one blog post instead.   

Some of you may or may not know that 2 days ago was my birfday, either way I could give a shit!  Whether you were there or not, I Came To Party, and party we did, in proper Ambassador style at that.  After our 2nd trip to Adelita's, our third stop at the laundry mat, and our fourth loop in IV, I decided to step things up a notch and reminisce on some of my glory days during my d-list celebrity week in Hollywood.  I managed to find some paint and a clean (non-pubey) pair of clippers and somehow put back together the freak suit I rocked at last year's Transworld Skate Awards...            
SAH getting weir with Myrts at last years TWS Awards
It was either the roofie-colada that someone slipped me or the raw power that putting on that suit gave me but immediately after putting it on, I became a MONSTER.  Not only was I apparently busting helicockters left and right but the police report clearly states that I was "in what looked to be a very serious argument with a bathroom trash can debating over who killed c3po and what they did with his left over shn33x".  The last thing I remember was throwing down 50 large on red in the Boardwalk hotel on the Vegas strip (even though that hotel doesn't even exist anymore, yeah I was still there).  Within a blink of an eye and a scratch of my ass, I awoke here in my new cell being creepily stared at by my new room mate Ebenezer and slapped on the wrist with charges of mobery (exposing yourself to a blind person), extreme frothing, and Grand Theft Myrtle.  Don't worry about me though my friends, I'll be fine here in this cell.  
Everyone's been extremely nice to me thus far and surprisingly there are a few dedicated fans here in the pen who say they constantly read my blog.  The only weird thing is that instead of calling me the Ambassador they have started to call me The Ambass-adorable, kinda creeps me out, especially when they wink?!  Anyways, the 5-0 says I should be outta here in a week or so which isn't such a bad thing I guess cause with all this free time on my hands I can write more stupid ass posts that nobody will ever read!  YAYYY!  Anyways fools, I gots to go, I can hear Ebenezer awaking and I think he wants another sponge bath... Hope this letter finds you well and please tell my myrts I miss 'em and tell Poseidon that I won't be able to make this Sunday's mass, but not to worry I'll make it up with 10 Hail Larry's and 4 shots of salt water.  

Sorry for partying...
-Surf Ambass-adorable Hendo     
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1 comment:

  1. that was the funniest thing i have read in a long time! yeah hendo
    - "The Road"