Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Getting To Oz...


Oz, Aus, Australia...
The land of the froth and the home of the root!
I've pretty much wanted to go there ever since I was a grommet watching froth filled flicks like Alley Oop, Chocolate Barrells, Sabotaj, Montaj, The Show, and other surf vids chalk filled with wild Aussies doing radical maneuvers, taking over the bar scene, and inventing insta-classic words that stuck like glue.  Now that I'm older and a much more mature and refined man, I pretty much want to go there more than ever!  All the stories and epic tales I constantly hear from friends who've gone and friends who've stayed in the land of Oz, fill me with a level of froth that not even a rabid pomeranian could compete with.  Not to mention, Superbank looks like its made its triumphant return...

Kerrzo goin berrzo at Supaz
King Island, a place that once gave me my first wet dream...

Now that I'm starting to establish a bit of security and familiarity here in the City of Angels, I suppose a continuous sense of comfort has led to a bit of boredom and the adventure I live for is slowly drifting away to a land on the other side of the earth.  Don't get me wrong here peeps, Cali is and always will be my true love.  No where in the World can compete with the place I am proud to call my home.  But alas it seems evident that the land of adventure, excitement, "Las Vegas on water" (froth goth), Dbah, Melbas, Boxing Day, Eugene, Scooners, gettin mute, Rooting, the resurrected Supbank, Cory Worthington parties, frothy asians, Vegimite, Da Fish, Bob's Ya Uncle, Good On Ya's, and Wofting are slowly but surely increasingly calling me name!  But what's a land locked, cubicle frothing, pennywise ambassador to do?  

I suppose I could try doing the following to get me on my way:
1) Do some kind of fundraiser like selling White House Christmas tree ornaments like the jabrone ummm I mean the scholarly gentleman pictured above was caught in the act of doing.  Have a Baked Sale, or a Jog-a-thong, or Read for Weed, or a Violent Auction, or umm a Dance In The Streets For Treats-A-Thong, or Toys For Bots (robots & Jay Botts of course).  Nah, fack, too many to choose from... 

2) Slang my wang?  Nah seen Deuce Bigalo, Japeto's Workshop, and Taxi Cab Confessions too many times, plus I don't think my gal Marissa (bad hair day pic above) wants me sharing too often...           
3)  I could try my luck at telemarketing again.  No joke, I once worked at a telemarketing agency for some bull shit scam called "The Junior Police Academy" or some load of crap lke that in which I sat in a stuffy ass room filed with meth heads, over weight albinos, and a creeper trying to sell a Foreman grill to a 9 year old ("What the hell do you mean you don't know what mank steak is?  Oh whoops, sweetie are you crying? please put your da-da on the telephone").  After hearing that weirdness and nearly gagging every other second from the foulest B.O. I have still to this day ever encountered, I shot up outa my seat and walked outa there with the Manyellatore.  I worked there for a total of may be ten minutes (true story.com).  Obviously, I don't think I wanna try my luck with that again.

FAACCKK!  Seems evident that all of these ideas just straight up suck and I just wasted an hour trying to think of some way to get out there when I could have been getting my freaking pencil sharpened! What a waste!   Will there ever be a way or a day that I make it out to the land of froth and have a few coldies on the Goldie while gettin me root and mute on?  Who the hades knows!?   

If you've got some Aus stories to share or have any good ideas of how I can make it out there sooner than later on a party bender budge, click on the blue text below that says "Froth A Comment" and write that shit to me fool!  One thing's for certain when I step foot on that land mates, Bob's Ya Uncle! 

-Froth On  
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