Thursday, July 30, 2009

Rad Wardo Ad

Classic add of the man himself, I think the one in the mags is a bit funnier but check this one out for now:

Best one on here: "Twelve Steps Is Just Too Many"
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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Volcom's BS!

Volcom's new Vid called BS! vid is gonna be nutso, there's a bunch of premieres goin down for it in your local town so check the Volcom site and froth that shit!   It's also premiering in August 3rd on Fuel tv at 9:30.  Definitely don't want to miss that! 
But for now, here's the trailer.  look at the freaking fs 360 air Dusty PULLS! Can not believe that shit! Damn son!
Gonna be MENTAL!

BS! from R.T. on Vimeo.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Cold Dust Girl


My pants are off right now...

Umm anyways, yeah so this EPIC Hey Champ video for their song "Cold Dust Girl" pretty much sums up the bender that Poseidon's Posse: Freedom Division has been on as of lately.  You might recognize the song from one of my vids eh?  Regardless, chicks making out, dudes getting alcohol thrown in their face, and chicks with headbands (I love chicks with headbands, please wear one next time I see you and I will shelter you with love and spoil you with laughter) all make for a classic vid! Enjoy!

See you guys lates today
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The 5 Best Surf Movies of All Time

Siskel & Ebert, Siegfried & Roy, Cheese & Crackers, Merkin Myrtle & David Lynch... What do all of these names have in common? Absolutely nothing! Well may be except for the fact that 3 out of the 7 of 'em all had one thing to do with film analysis at one point or another. Soon to join this legendary list shall be non other than yours truly (whether or not for analyzing films is up to you to decide). Yup, you guessed it, today we're talking about the 5 Best surf movies of all time!  Later this week we will also dive head first into The 5 Worst Surf Movies of All Time!  Whether you agree with me or not is unfortunately not your choice cause you, my fine frothy friend, are not the Ambassador shneaked out off Rockstar frothing a keyboard like it was a Wolfgang Amadeus smyphony chello (60 wpm [words per minute] son!) Don't like it? SYOB (Start Your Own Blog betch!). 

Trying to capture the true essence of surfing, surf culture, and surf lore on film is certainly a demanding and treacherous task.  There are so many factors to consider when making a surf flick.  Should you superimpose your surfers on a green screen and make them look like Slates shralping at pipe?  Should you make the movie based on every stereotype you've ever heard about the cowabunga sport of surfboard wave riding?  Or should you be hard as fug and document your surf gang flick with no chicks?  These are some of the choices that the movie makers have to make when they write that script, put themselves in front of that camera, and lock themselves in a nerd bot cave editing the final cut for days on end.  Ultimately it really doesn't matter what the filmmakers do, for it is the surfers in the public sphere who have the final say whether or not the film sucks balls or goes down as an instant classic!  So without further adieu, I would like to present you with:
The Top 5 Best Surf Movies of All Time:

1. Big Wednesday
Legends never die, but they can grow old.  

Big Wednesday has to be one of my favorite films of all time and by far the best surf film ever to be made!  Not only does it so brilliantly capture a true essence of surf culture but it takes the viewer on quite the thrill ride along the way!  Surely this film deserves the longest description and stroke sesh.       

Join Matt "The Enforcer" Johnson, Jack Barlow, and Leroy "The Masochist" as they divulge into the summer shenanigans that take place when you own the beach and the surf.  Whether it's throwing a kegger at the house belonging to Jack's MILF Mother (sike), surfing Malibu point while still wasted from the night before, getting into brawls with crashers, getting into brawls at Adelita's in TJ, avoiding the draft by acting gay, psycho, or crippled, and finally riding the biggest swell to hit the coast in ages, this film has got it all and then some!
My personal favorite character would definitely have to be that of Leroy "The Masochist" played by Gary Busey himself (a close second fav is party animal/froth legend Waxer).  Leroy is straight up nutso and he represents the wild child of the bunch as he's the guy who's always down to party, get weird with chicks, fight some random fools, jump through windows, eat light bulbs, and drink till he drops!  This quote from Leroy pretty much sums him up in a sentence: 

"I like fights, I've dove through windows, I've eaten light bulbs, I like sharks, any kind of blood. If you gave me a gun, I'd shoot you in the face just to see what it looked like when the bullet hit." 

Keep in mind he was saying that to a freaking shrink who was analyzing him for the army draft!  All and all Big Wednesday is  an epic tale about friendship, charging big waves, raging hard, and just straight up owning everywhere you go.  I strive to one day live a carefree beach bum lifestyle like these guys once had (oh wait I did, fack well I want it back!).  If you've never seen this film please lose my number and my website and sure as hell don't bother saying hi to me in the halls either!    

2. North Shore
"You're so haole you don't even know you're haole." 

Zonie kook Rick Kane shreds in the kiddy pool and earns himself 500 bucks so he gets high on ice and convinces himself that he can play with da big boys over on Da Nor Chore of Oahu, how wrong he was!  Upon arriving at da mystical mecca of Da Nor Chore, Rick begins his adventurous journey destined for kookiness as he gets picked up by a classic Occy and Paige, picks up some sugar cane, and lands himself at a Pipe house belonging to non other than uber shredder Lance Burkhart (Laird Hamilton).  
"Alex, come jump in with us mate."
Eventually Kane falls into a lucky strike and is taken in under the wing of surf legend and da kine shaper Chandler.  Chandler along with party boy/assistant shaper Turtle teach Rick how to stop being such a fucking kook and surf real waves... waves that make your balls turn into beebees and your unit into a tic tac (speaking from personal experience).  Along the way Rick finds his wahine myrt Kiani and froths her to his little hearts delight.  In the end Rick is so iced out that he surfs in a Pipe constest in a final against Lance Burkhart (laird) and Derek Ho.  As Rick paddles for what could have possibly been his winning wave, Lance grabs his leash, pulls in pig dog style, and takes da comp.  Rick was so iced out that he didn't even give a shit that Lance pulled his leash, won the comp, and called him an idiot all in the span of 5 minutes.  Eventually, Rick comes down from the ice, sobers up, says good by to his new braddas and myrt, and heads back to methville, AZ for art school.  Ahh the life of a haole...      

What makes this film so classic and great is its star studded cast including such shredders as: Gerry Lopez, Occy, Laird Hamilton, Derek Ho, Mark Foo, Shaun Tomson, Ken Bradshaw, Uncle Michael, and even Christian Fletcher.  If that wasn't enough, add on some instant classic retro 80's rock, some firing waves on the 7 mile miracle, classic costume party keggers with smoking hot beach babes and you've got yourself a movie brah!     

Cook rice, not ice!     

3. The Endless Summer II
"Only a week out of California and already living their dream of an endless summer."

Pat O' and Wingnut (still don't know why they call him that) travel the world wide in search of frothy pits.  All the while, Bruce Brown straight up drops knowledge on fools in this epic travel doc!  This flick is classic in so many ways.  Pat O' Connell and Wingnut make for a great duo as they are both hilarious in their own right and can shred whatever the swell gives them.   I remember watching this as a grom and seeing mini-grom TJ Barron shredding on the silver screen at Pupukea and being like "fack that grom's better than me, that's it, no more Oregon Trail, I've got some practice to do!" 
This is one of the most classic surf films that beautifully depicts an eclectic mix of surf adventure stories seen through the eyes of two mega shralpers!  Endless Summer II is a must have! (The only qualm I have with this movie is the fact that my Mom took us to see it and come every summer when all I wanted to do was surf and chill she'd repeatedly say "Hendo" this is NOT the endless summer! Get yo self a job fool!)      

4. Point Break
"You're trying to tell me the FBI is going to pay me to learn to surf?"

Even though Matrix nerd-bot Keanu Reeves is a kook, Swayze and Busey sure ain't!  The ex- presidents, a group of surf rat bank robbers led by shralp master Bodhi have been hitting up LA's finest banks and milking that shit for every pennie's worth!  It's up to special agent Johnny Utah and his partner Pappas to catch these suckers and make them pay.  In order to succeed at such a task, Johnny Utah (aka ex jock nerd quarterback ass grabber meathead) must go full on Gonzo style and become one with the enemy.  While learning how to surf, he scores a hot babe, bones her, then tells her the truth about his homosexuality and she freaks the fuck out!  
Eventually Johnny boy follows the ex-prezies and just barely misses nabbing them each time and fucks up his knee pretty bad while doing so (shoulda worn your volley ball knee pads Utah!).  Sometime down the road, Johnny finally learns how to stand up on a surfboard, we see some boobs, and Utah eventually tracks down Bodhi in Aus during the hundred year storm that produces massive waves in the Pacific.  In fear of being seen as the true loser that he is, by the coolest dude around, agent Johnny Utah takes off Bodhi's leopard skin handcuffs and lets him go surf his last dying wave to which Aussie cop says "We'll get him when he comes back in" Johnny replies with a tear in his eye "He's not coming back."  And Keanu is hopefully not coming back... to any surf movie EVER again!    

Despite the kookiness of Johnny Utah, this film is rad in the fact that the ex-prezies rip, Anthony Kiedis beats the shit outa Keanu, Archy doubles for Swayze, there are some nice boobage and ass shots, and who doesn't love robbing banks, beach raging, and sky diving in their free time?        

5. Bra Boys
"Causing trouble, no matter where we go"

First time I saw this hard docu I went mental and apparently started drunkenly talking to myrts in an Australian accent at da bars.  It wasn't until the next morning that they'd call me up and ask for "Shane, the cute Australian guy" that I'd realize this film definitely had a gnarls hold on me! 

Bra Boys is an intriguing tale about a surf gang hailing from the inner Sydney beachside suburb of Maroubra.  Starting off as Ma's Hell Team the crew was a tight nit group consisting of the brothers Abberton, and a few others.  Eventually the gang picked up speed and gained strength through numbers including such big shot members as: pro surfer Mark Matthews, Richie "Vas" Vaculik, Frog, rugby player Reni Maitua, and many more.  Although they are now deep in numbers far and wide, the film is more concentrated on a series of events revolving around the death of former shady Bra Boy Anthony Hines and the convicted parties involved with the case, professional surfer Koby Abberton and his brother Jai.  Drama ensues as the gang and the brothers fight the hard times during this murder trial.  

Even though most of the actual footage is shot on a piece of shit handy cam Hi8 footage, the story is so captivating and the characters involved are so interesting that this never really becomes too big of a problem.  Follow the Bra Boys as they give you a shneek peak into the life of a surf thug filled with beers, bras, brawls, bites, and bitterness.  The only thing missing in this film is boobs, yeah for some reason there ain't much footage of da Bra Boys taking off brassieres?  Das not wuzzzup!  But all and all this film is definitely wazzzup!  Go watch it, buy it, or steal it from your mate, just make sure at some point you tell the myrt you wake up with that you're not Australian, I'd wait till the wedding if I were you!     

*Honorable Mention: Fast Times At Ridgemont High

There you have it folks, The 5 Best Surf Movies of All Time!  Join us later this week as I'll be discussing the 5 Absolute Worst Surf Movies of All Time (you might want to wear a diaper cause shits gonna get ugly!)  Got an opinion about my opinions?  Leave a comment and drop some knowledge on the Ambass fool!  Do it, do it!       
   

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

SAH Searches For True Love...

(Photo Credit: My Real Idol Lewis at PostSurf.com) 

Yeah so in my most recent state of delirium this past week I got freaking weird, really weird and bored too!  One night I got back from work at like 4am and I just couldn't sleep (don't ask why) and I decided to creep some people the fuck out! I've been looking on Craigslist a lot lately for a new surf bungalow to dwell in and I came across some really creepy stuff so I decided to play a lil joke and see what kind of freaks would respond to what I wrote. So I went to the personals and posted the following add in search of my true love:
Here's what I wrote on the personal adds (don't ask me how I came up with this shit but yeah it's fucking weird!):

Sculpted like the stone cold statue of Poseidon, I am his only son and have indeed been on a 2 and a half decade quest in search of my female equivalent! I live underwater in the depths of the pacific ocean and to say that I have gills is a definite understatement (I was born with webbed toes, fingers, and an especially long vertebrate that sticks out my rear about 3 inches). My quest to find my perfect luscious mythical mermaid lingers on like a never ending SBD (silent but deadly). Thine mermaid I doth seek must abide by the following simple features: a matching birth mark that resembles Poseidon's valiant trident (located on left deltoid), must be able to hold breath underwater for at least an hour and a half (preferably while reading Moby Dick), must know how to play Mexican roulette, must speak gorbatron dialect (3rd sector, 2nd squadron), must know how to cook a plenty ambrosia (using hogs breath, rats tails, and lizard bile), must be a useful first mate (aka know thine difference between the poop deck and scurvy), and last but not least my mythical mermaid (if she doth exist) must be knowledgeable about fighting serpents, octopi, plankton, pelicans, barnacles, and the one eyed Mike Losness Monster Kook (MLMK). Doth you dare take a journey with Poseidon's only son into the deep valley of the pacific squalls? Prepare to set sail for this ship is about to set sail and yarrrr don't come a knockin when this boat is a rockin! (u send pic, I send disturbing pic, yarrrrr froth). 
Yeah that shit's weird, but you know what will be even weirder?  Is the REAL responses I get when some freakazoid wants to get weird with a bearded sea God's son!  I will keep you all posted with the email responses I get back as soon as they SURFace ja ja chuckle chuckle, get it?

  
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Sunday, July 19, 2009

My New Idol

My new idol doin his thang!

Happy Sunday Myrt, this one's for you!
(Credit Purple Haze)
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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Thane Reynolds Is That You?

Ok, so yeah, I'll admit it, straight up, I'm delirious and hallucinating right now from lack of sleep and endless days of work, junk food, and nerd botting but let me ask you this, am I fucking nuts? Certainly not. I've been listening to a shitload of White Lies lately. Their epic tracks have been getting me through the sleepless work month for sure, and just yesterday I saw their music video for Farewell To The Fairground for the first time. After watching the vid, I came across some SHOCKING NEWS! Dane Reynolds has a twin brother who just so happens to be the lead singer of one of my favorite bands, White Lies! Dane's twin brother's real name is Thane Reynolds and his band is fucking rad!

I found an article in the basement of a Thai massage parlor and as it turns out, sadly, Dane and Thane were separated at birth due to undisclosed circumstances. Dane grew up shralping Ventura later to become one of surfing's most influential new wave surfers of all time and eventually the future World Champ (that is if the ASP sticks around, more to come on that sour subject later). Thane, on the other hand, went down the road less traveled on and joined the Bakersfield circus at the early age of 4.
Brothers Reynolds post separation age 12

After 3 months of frequent fights with his 49 yr old girlfriend named Maude aka "the bearded wizard", Thane soon fled his nude juggling act and headed to Haole-wood, California. It was here that Thane took a turn for the worst and began heavily using the drug commonly known as "ovaltine". Although a filthy habit, his drug use may have been a blessing in disguise. On one cloudy and fateful night, Thane found himself relapsing in the back of a taco truck on the corner of Hollywood and Vine (home to the star of Emmanuel Lewis) when all of a sudden, fate hit him in the back of the head and his life would be forever changed! No, a piece of carne freejoles did not hit him, it was actually a golden guitar belonging to a sir Charles Cave of London. Thane was knocked out cold by this sudden guitar impact but soon awoke in a state of complete oblivion and began referring to himself as "Harry McVeigh".
Thane, Harry, who ever you are, you shred at guitar!

Harry and Charles soon hit it off, became good friends, and started a revolutionary rock band that would later be known as White Lies. Slowly but surely it became evident that all those years of watching late night Jane Fonda infomercials really paid of for Thane, for his guitar shredding skills were like no other! On top of that, something from the Ovaltine usage must have coated his throat with a glorious ambrosia, for sir Thane or "Harry" began to sing like a roman God similar to the voice of Dave Gahan from the famous Depeche Mode.
The brothers have not seen nor spoken to each other since age 1 but I think after reading this article they will both realize what wonderful humans they have become and reunite to create the ultimate bash bros duo! Dane and Thane! Can you imagine that? Thane and White Lies playing a set at the point at Rincon while Dane shreds and shralps to the sounds of his long lost brother! Now that's what I call bro-nomenal!

Speaking of White Lies... I think my delirium has become a false serum drug. Am I even awake right now? or is life but a dream?
FROTHHHHHHHH
Here's the video:
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Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Light At The End of the Tunnel


I've been working like a hound dog day and night since last Thursday on an epic skate tv show and most likely won't stop till the end of the month (?). It's been fun, treacherous, tedious, tumultuous, and tons of work but I'm definitely ready to finish this master piece and go on a wild spectacular adventure filled with frothy waves, mental myrts, and thumb beers that melt in the Caribbean breeze!

Who's with me? Seriously, I wana go on some sort of rage cage surf bender, hit me up!
Here's what I had in mind, minus the dude cruise, plus more beer, and plus more myrts:

Spectacular Adventures! Trailer from Spectad on Vimeo.

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Friday, July 10, 2009

SAH @ Maloof Money Cup

I'm working on the Maloof Money Cup skate contest right now doing some stuff for the TV show with WINDOWSEATpictures.  This skate comp is freaking mental!  The best skaters in the World hucking their bodies down 16 stairs, ledges, gaps, hubbas, rails, vert ramps, mank myrts, plus more all for the glory and fame plus a lil cash ($100,000 firs place prize to be exact).  Here's the new course for this year's comp, I'll be here all week, try the veal:

Maloof Practice from World Industries on Vimeo.

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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th...LJ Style

Thanks to the Wiley Man for sending me this classic Old Skool Wind 'An pic of some of the dedicated soldjaz standing their ground before corpo Cali rolled through and demolished years of history and tradition just to make the Bourgeoisie of La Jolla a nice, new, shiny lot with gay ass boulders n shiz

Hey all you red neck hill bills, get out there and drink sum beerz, hoot some toots, and straight up get weird with it today! It's the 4th of July and Poseidon sure knows I ain't got time to be nerd botting on some computer, I got shit to do son!
May your fourth be filled with froth!
Nesia
Laaaaaaaaaaate
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Friday, July 3, 2009

Wick-id Lids! *NEW AMPAL CREATIVE*

After a year and a half of perfecting what some have been calling "the dopest hat to ever grace the skull of a human" (SAH) , The AMPAL Creative has just released their new lid entitled "The 44th". So for your Independence Day weekend, show some spirit and snag one of these beauties before they sell out! Trust me, these caps are freaking rad! They are like nothing I've ever seen before. With a unique and innovative shape on top of a sexy and suave style, these lids are sure to get you that special someone you've been eye fucking for the past month! Forewarning though my friends, this hat will get you looks, attention, questions, and groping hands like no other hat you've worn before... are you ready?
Poseidon knows I sure am...

The 44th is currently available in the following 2 Los Angeles stores:
De La Barracuda on Melrose
Archrival Downtown

For more info please visit The AMPAL Creative's Blog

ps I can't believe we saw some chick pissing in the corner of La Cita last night, DISTURBING! Yet kinda punk rock...
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Thursday, July 2, 2009

NEW CRAP!


OHHHHHH CRAPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!
Remember when I told you fools about the legendary eye wear company named Crap? Well whether you were too drunk to remember or not, make sure you remember to check this flyer out, get in your gas guzzler, froth up or down the freeeway for a bit, jump outa yo car, and get yourself a nice new pair of steezy shades from da wild boyz over at CRAP!

Wuz hangin out with these fools the other night, and let me tell you their myrt parade is growing by the freaking second so I suggest you get yourself some Crap before they run out cause these things are selling like pot cakes!
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

EXPOSURE(self) Ian Rotgans

La Jolla surf legend Ian Rotgans aka Nai Snagtor straight up owns Poseidon's playground!  Rotty's been shralping the La Jolla reefs, pb, and all over San Diego ever since I can remember.  You can usually see him getting shacked out of his gourd at the Rock or boosting sick airs and tail wafts at the Berg.  Ian continues to amaze me with his constant innovation, fluidity, sick style, and straight up raw power.  I once saw this dude do a floater tweak across the whole inside section of Wind 'N rights, proper Wardo style!  Check out this new Lost add in Transworld with him and all the Lost boys standing strong and taking charge while mocking an overly popular Hollywood sitcom.    
Keep your eyes peeled, cause this ain't the last time we're gonna see Rotgans in the mags, you can count on that!  
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