Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I Hate Groms!

Why do I hate groms?  I freaking hate groms because they have some how been given the power by Poseidon to rip harder than I do or ever will!  I've been surfing for 15 damn years and I still have yet to even come close to landing a fackin air reverse or a "sushi roll" for that matter!  Yet some how these little shits are boosting 6 foot air reverses, tail wafts that put my old skool larrys to shame, and new tricks and flips that make my jaw drop and my brows furrow!
Super star surf grom Kolohe Andino reminding me (yet again) how I will never turn pro
How do these lil fux shred so damn hard? And why wasn't I one of the chosen ones destined to shock humans with death-defying flare, flawless air attacks, and tail wafts that turn rubber necks into lock jaws?!
Jake Sylvester throwin down a mean ass tail waft growler! 

There's only one thing that these damn groms will never take from us old farts, and that, my friends, is POWER!  Ain't it a cryin shame that the spray that belongs to groms is never more than a mere 2 feet tall?   And why is that?  That's because they're balls still have yet to drop and the only hair below their head is a brussels sprout of an armpit!  
Luke Davis, air reverse, just another walk in the park...

Anyways, I guess I'm just really jealous and pissed off that I will never be as good as these kids.  Truth is, we all secretly love the lil fellers.  All and all they freaking rip, they charge, and they probably get way more ass than all of us and they're only in their teens!  
Owen Wright, fack I don't even know what to call this mental shit! 

And just when you thought these kids couldn't get any better at a younger age, there was Ian Gentil.  Ian's an uber grom coming in at the whooping age of 13!  He's already better than me and you combined and I can't even imagine how hard he'll be ripping in 10 years when he'd still not even be my age!  Check out this mental vid of this kid!  

Cheers to the little guys, may your froth be filled with myrts and your stoke be blessed by Poseidon! 
Gundom's cousin: Nat Young throwing down a proper air reverse like he was Nat Old

Groms to look out for:
Kolohe Andino, Ian Gentil, Luke Davis, Kai Barger, Conner Coffin, Andrew Doheny, Bones, Ford Archbold, Owen Wright, Nat Young, Koa Smith, Patrick Curren
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  1. honestly
    FUCK groms
    yeah that kid shreds harder than master splinter 48 hrs into a ice binder
    but he still deserves to get burned by my bitter old balls

    Classic man!
    Who are you? I need those hilarious writing skills as a contributing editor on here!