Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Surfer Chicks vs. Women Pro Surfers

Surfer Chicks 
Although Marisa Miller ain't no pro surfer, she can be in the water all she wants for all I care (just as long as her face doesn't prune up)  


Women Pro Surfers
Carissa Moore showing us how it's done and big shotting about 90% of all dude surfers 

Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong here, I love women and think that they are Poseidon's greatest creation ever and would never do anything to intentionally piss them off or be sexist in any way for that matter.  The following words might be hard to hear but don't get mad at me, I only speak the truth.  

Decide for yourself, but I think there's definitely a huge difference between surfer girls and Women Pro Surfers.  Surfer girls suck.  For some reason they think it's cool to be a super stereotypical surfer dude and brag about the quiver they own, wear sandals to prom, constantly have alarms going off and then say "oh dude I gotta go catch the evening glass", they watch Blue Crush at least twice a day, they're all about the "mellow vibes", and they wear a friggin wetsuit to class like it's some kind of new fashion statement!  And when the time finally comes to go surf with them, they can barely stand up on knee high inside white water waves at a beach break and they've supposedly been surfing for "15 years man"!  Please relocate to the nearest Claim Jumper, table for 4, under the name "Jabroney" (same goes for kook dudes who claim they can shralp).  
Paris Hilton claims she can surf but from the looks of things I think she's better off surfing the internet!   Koby Abberton how could you?  (I don't blame you bra boy, I'd probably do the same thang mate)

Yea, my perception might be tainted due to the fact that I have had the occasional run-in with surfer girls in the water who think it's cool to snake dudes cause they're a girl (Blacks Beach circa '03, chick snaked me on an epic left cause she was trying out for the UCSD surf team, wrong move sista, wrong move!  Next epic left comes through and she paddles around me for priority, I don't think soooo!  I dropped in left on my wave in front of her and I think she either grabbed my leash or summoned Poseidona [Poseidon's wife] cause we both ate shit and came up for air being all tangled up and then we began yelling at each other, some would call it anger, I call it sexual tension, then we made out in the heat of the moment and paddled our separate ways, true    
Paige Hareb can boost higher than me, you, and your brother combined

On the other hand, Women Pro Surfers Rule!  I have really been taken aback by how hard Women Pro Surfers are shralping these days!  Women Pro Surfers know what's up and they could care less about showing off their quiver or going to school in a freaking wetsuit.  No joke, when I was out on da Nor Chore last year and was surfing Rocky Point just straight up getting schooled by groms, the girls out there were giving me a run for my money as well.  Not only did Megan Abubo snake me on what could have been such a frothy left (I just sat there like a lil puppy watching her smack lip after lip), Coco Ho and Paige Hareb were throwing buckets that made my spray look like tear drops (oh Crap, uhhhhh come to think of it, I actually think those were real tears... tears of embarrassment)!
Coco Ho Po keeping da family legacy alive like no other!

Although there was quite the controversy this last winter when Coco Ho dropped in on queen trog Layne Beachley with seconds left in the Reef Hawaiian Pro final, I personally think that was the most punk rock shit I've seen in a while!  Not only did Coco snake Layne but she boosted one of the sickest frontside indy airs I've ever seen a chick do before!  At that moment, I think something inside my head said: "shit dude, Women's Surfing is stepping it up, long gone are the days of Blue Crush and Gidget, these chicks are definitely way better than me and most of the men out there!"  So for all you guys out there hating on Women's Pro Surfing, keep hating all you want but just realize that one day you'll be out at Rocky's and the next thing you know girls will be running circles around your ass and make you so embarrassed that you have to ride in on your stomach in fear of looking like a kook (not true 
               Silvana Lima throwing mad steez while being high as fug! 

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1 comment:

  1. it's crazy. they're good but some of the guy surfers out there are just insane. i think women surfers will definitely catch up to the boys someday (: