Saturday, January 10, 2009

I Love Dolphins

I Love Dolphins
I Love Dolphins.  

Those slimmy little fucks are precious creatures of Poseidon's playground and I love them.  I love them so much I would write a poem about them.  I love them so much I would stick my ween into a vice and tighten it till it exploded.  I love dolphins on surfboards.  I love them on women.  I love dolphins on bus stops and dolphins on the bus.  I hate tramp stamps but I even 
love dolphin tramp stamps.  One time a dolphin did an air in front of me on a wave in Huntington and it was at that point that I knew dolphins also loved me.  An ugly chick could have a tattoo of a dolphin and I'd still be frothing at the mouth!  I love them so much that I would wake up in Chino again in a hotel room filled with 12 scattered bodies and faces saying "did that really just happen?" just to see a dolphin (thank you Snarf McMeowskers for picking our asses up the next morning, Reese Wizzardspoon will never be forgotten, unfortunately neither will the Galapagos whale that graced her presence with us either).  I love dolphins so much that when I  duck dive
I sometimes start singing to them under water or perhaps jump off my board and swim with them for a bit.  Dolphins are rad.  Can you imagine getting domers from a dolphin?  Best evaaaaaa mate.  Do you htink dolphins drink water?  Do fish drink water?  How the hell do they sleep?  I head that dolphins are smarter than humans once, that's obviously bull shit cause I ain't never seen no dolphin cruising the waves on an Escalade with chromed out 22's, a pair of stunna shades, and some Shimay in hand, ain't neva seen that!  Also, you would think that if they were smarter than humans that they would be able to speak english or at least learn sign language or something to communicate with us.  Even if they aren't as smart as us, I still love the little fucks.  Happy international dolphin day from the team here at Surf Ambassador Hendo!
North Shore Part 2 Coming soon (hold your horses anonymous comment kook!)
   
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