Saturday, January 3, 2009

Da Nor Chore Part 1

Welcome To Da Nor Chore, we'll get you on the rock but there's no guarantee you'll come back.    
Above is a snap shot of a typical day at Ehukai Beach Park, the sand bar just feet away from the monster that is Pipeline.  

Howz it brahs?  Finally the time has come for me to tell the tale of my epic journey out on the North Shore of Oahu (so quit fucking complaining anonymous comment kook! haha).  As we all know, every winter, starting sometime in November, plane loads full of the best surfers around the World land in Honolulu, snag their board bags, and hop in a truck headed down the H1 towards the 7 Mile Miracle that is The North Shore.  It's no wonder they call it the 7 Mile Miracle, the place is truly unbelievable! 
I flew out from LAX to lend a helping hand with the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing.  Upon landing, I was immediately bum-rushed by the typical media frenzy full of thirsty photog sharks and paparazzi assholes asking me for the same boring interviews and autographs ("is it really 13 inches?"  "did you really land the first air reverse ever?" blah blah blah).  That has been pretty normal recently along with the nonstop badgering of the pro hoes and teeny boppers but fortunately, I was eventually greeted by 5 beautiful ladies who were kind enough to lei me, lay me, and then pay me.  It was uber weird, they said they had been reading my blog since day one, they were wearing t-shirts with my face on them, they had tattoos with my name on them, they claimed to be my biggest fans, and they said that they wanted to be my Hendo Harem for my 12 day stay.  As weird/creepy/stalkerish as it was, I was fine with it, I accepted the invitation, took a sip of my Lava Flow, tipped my top hat, snagged my cane, and began my debaucherous journey...    

The Ambassador with his lovely Hendo Harem (notice the "Hendo" tattoos that so elegantly grace these beloved angels.) 
Ahhhhhhhhh crap!  What?  Where am I?  Who?  What's going on?  As I awoke with drool on my sleeve and some large Samoan woman kicking my leg to use the rest room, I realized that was all but a dream.  Drats!  The sandman has done it again and brought me a dream that will only be real in 4 years, damn you sandman, damn you!
Anyways, on to the good stuff.  The company I currently work for is involved with creating the TV shows for the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing, and so fortunately they were more than generous enough to fly me out to lend a helping hand.  I was super stoked to go out there and help out with the show, not to mention, my froth was beyond belief!  I've been to most of the Islands on Hawaii many times but never the North Shore so needless to say, the first night I got there, I was immediately feeling like a kid in a candy store as we drove by Haleiwa, the legendary Foodland, Pipeline, Sunset, and of course Ted's Bakery.  But my stoke certainly did not end there.  That night we went on a little bike ride to pick up some food and beverages from Foodland and I was luckily given the loc tour by one of our filmers as he pointed out all of the legendary surf spots along with all the famous houses and crews that dwelled inside them.  The North Shore as I knew it, was like heaven on earth:
 or so I thought...    

To Be Continued.............
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