Friday, December 26, 2008

Surf Ambassador Hendo Checks Into Shralp Rehab

Fellas and felines,
there is a lot of joking that goes on around this site and laugh as you may, it is time for me to expose something very serious.  You might want to sit down for this one...  

As you may or may not know I have been addicted to one of the 
strongest highs since the turn of this century... a lethal drug 
they like to call Shralping (weird name I know, but you'll get used to it).  It is a nasty habit filled with urine soaked wetsuits, sea water nose drips, and chaffed arm pits.  Ever since I took that first ride at age 10, nothing could ever satisfy my craving to shralp, shred, and get inside of some tubes.  As time went on, my addiction got worse and worse and it wasn't until I awoke in Gallup, New Mexico in a Motel swimming pool riding a kick-board, getting barreled by a security guard's tall boy, and claiming to have found the secret to Archy's laybacks that I realized I had a problem.

 Fortunately enough, my friends and family organized a recent intervention and sat me down to chat.  Some said "Hendo your shralping has gotten out of control, all you talk about is Slates, Chopes, and Pipe.  You have a problem and need some help. "  Others said: "Dude you totally froth too much shralping and foam the shred gnar sticks till the shimmy of gnarls barks can't amp or grom k anymore fool".  I took their words to hart and said: "Thank you, I understand, excuse me for a sec I need to use the Lou."  So I calmly walked to the rest room, locked the door, and jumped out the fackin window and started furiously sprinting as fast as I could!  It was no use, they were immediately hot on my trail with Doberman Pinchers nibbling at my socks and leashes wrapped in their hands like gangster chains.  Finally I gave chase and they hog tied me with leashes until I couldn't feel my ween anymore.  So alas my friends, I sit here on the porcelain throne and write to you all about checking in to Shralp Rehab.  If any of you have been in my shoes, I would surely enjoy some mental support or advice on how to get through the days without saying the word "froth" or doing a floater tweak just to get me by.  It's going to be a tough journey but I think it's time for me to come clean and be a normal human again.  

So that's where I've been and that's why I haven't had many posts up recently but do be expecting more posts coming your way cause I've got a shit load of shit that has gone down and am uber psyched to tell all you freaks all about it. Actually just got back from the North Shore a few days ago and am gona do a whole in depth post about that little slice of heaven.  

I will keep you all posted on my progress but everyone knows: you can take the boy out of the shralp but you can never take the shralp out of the boy.
Here goes nothin...  

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