Thursday, January 29, 2009

*= FILM REVIEW =* Secret Machine by Globe

Yo fools, here's a film review I just found that I did for Globe's Secret Machine a while back. Finding this is kinda like finding an uneaten piece of cheese pizza under the sofa pillow, although hopefully you won't get jaundice from this. Read at your own risk...

Secret Machine by Globe

What do you get when you throw a cast of Globe's all star surfers, dreamlike destinations (including the usual suspects like Indo and Oz), and brilliant filmmaking together in one box? If you guessed Richard Simmon's Sexty Second Abs you're wrong and you should immediately redirect yourself to the dungeons and dragons website, but if you guessed Secret Machine, you are correct and you can keep reading! Starring Taj Burrow, The Hobgoods, Nathan Webster, Yadin Nichol and Dion Agius, surely, the Globe team and the film makers behind this flick have really out done themselves this time!


Secret Machine is a surf video that is much more than meets the eye. On the surface, there lies a video filled with fascinating water shots, an excellent sound track, and surfing that will literally make your jaw drop each time through. Beneath the film, if you look closely, lies a number of brilliant underlying themes and motifs that most viewers at first sight unfortunately disregard as "useless philosophical crap". With the combination of all of these elements, Secret Machine makes for an unforgettable viewing experience each and every time you watch it.

The film itself has a certain surreal quality to it in the fact that every segment seems like a new dream in which we are only to be suddenly awoken at any given moment; the line between fiction and reality is never quite clear; same goes for the surfing. With an all star line-up consisting of CJ Hobgood, Taj Burrow, Yadin Nichol, Damien Hobgood, Nathan Webster, and new up-and-comer Dion Agius, it is safe to say that their phenomenal surfing alone could truly make this film. With some of the most progressive surfing I have seen in years, the stars of Secret Machine not only get shacked out of their freaking minds but some of the airs they pull were moves that I once thought to only exist in the realm of skate and snow. If you think Yadin’s rodeo 360 air is impressive or the Hobgoods varial airs and corkscrews are gnarly, just wait till you see Dion pull one of his patented Kerr-Agius flips, certainly it will froth your socks off! Add these innovative freak ticks to the stylish slashes, hacks, and carves of a sir Nathan Webster and you’ve got yourself 80% of the film. The last remaining element, the icing on the cake (if you will), is that of super star Taj Burrow. Although Taj’s presence is not as constant as the other rippers, his surfing without a doubt makes up for his tardiness. Flawlessly boosting the most amazing airs combined with his classic tail wafts and floater tweaks, Taj proves once again that he is never one to disappoint.

What could be better than some of the finest surfing ever depicted in a film?  The finest surfing ever depicted in a film accompanied by some tasty tunes of course. With bands like The Arcade Fire, Years Around The Sun, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs belting out some of their greatest songs, it’s obvious that the music is the backbone of this film. Like the creepy man’s voice said in the beginning: “it’s the perfect example of light and sound arriving together.”  How right you are sir, how right you are!  The pinnacle example of this perfect light and sound convergence without a doubt goes down during the Tavarua section!  Featuring the song entitled "Rebellion (lies)" by Arcade Fire (my favorite song eva of course) this section will most likely put you in a somnambulent state (look it up kook) as you unwillingly get lost in the haze of the music, the beautiful Tavi barrells, and the mind boggling performances by supa rippas like Occy, The Hobgoods, and Taj!  Every time I watch this section not only does it encompasses the heavenly experience of what it's like to surf Cloudbreak, but I always seem to be in need of a new pair of shorts afterwards...WEIRD!  And that's just ONE of the many sections of this vid, imagine what happens after the entire film (or not)!  Just watch the flick and you'll know what I'm freaking talking about.  

For those of you who haven't seen this film yet, Secret Machine is available in the Surf Ambassador Video Vault located somewhere in Downtown LA on the corner of crack and heroine (come by and meet my neighbors, they're so friendly right Cahil?).  However, if you don't feel like getting your ween chopped off, I'd suggest checking your local surf shop for this baby, she is surely worth every penny!  Secret Machine, although a few years young, still remains one of my top three vids in my DVD player.  Not only does the film pump  me up to go charge, get shacked, and attempt huge airs, but each time I watch it, I see something new that I didn't catch the first time around.  It's almost like the film changes itself into something different each time I put it in (that's what she said).  From the mystical destinations including: Oz, Indo, Fiji, Baja (Salsa Puedes dark pit of shit death!), and France, to the combination of epic surfing and classic music; Secret Machine has truly got it goin on!  From the first time I drunkenly witnessed this epic flick at UCSB to the last time I saw it just today, the level of froth (excitement) that it invokes in me each time grows stronger each and every time I slide this baby in my DvD player!  But don't take my word for it,  go grab yourself a copy, and see the stunning beauty with your own eyes.  But mums the word, cause after all... this is the SECRET MACHINE!   

Bad Economy? If you can't afford the video, watch this snid bit to tide over your taste buds, bud!

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