Saturday, December 27, 2008

I'mmmmmm Baaaaaack!

TWS Miss December contestant.  If you don't subscribe to Tranworld Surf by now, this should be reason enough!  Best Mag eva!  Also thought it was time to put some babes up here due to their popular demand (will you stop the emails now? thanks!)

Phew!   (Read previous post for the following to make sense).
That was a lucious lil stint in Shralp Rehab, but guess what mutha fuckas?! I'm back and better than evaaaaa mates!  I actually don't really know why I even wrote that post, I think it was probably just some bull shit filler post to try and explain why I haven't been keeping up with my posts as much as I should, dunno, stooopid.  

Anyways, like I said before, there has been a lot of kewl stuff that's been goin down in the surf world recently and fortunately I was able to participate in some of that kewl stuff, and thus in a way you will be able to be a part of it as well by reading my posts about it (confused).  

For starters, I just got back from a 12 day stay at the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii and boy let me tell you, the trip was in-saaaane mate!  So much went down that I am gona definitely save a whole post or two dedicated to the weirdness but just to name a few of the highlights for now I'd have to say that watching the Pipe final next to Bede, seeing Wardo, T Knox, K Robb, and Mick at the after party, and seeing Rob play guitar at Haleiwa eats were just a small sample of the many mental things that went down.  I also just recently went through the grueling task of purchasing a new wet suit and am gona try to throw down some kind of buyer's guide/slash review for the less informed and updated people out there like myself.  I also snagged a few killer new DVDs for Christmas of the likes of : "One Track Mind" and "Miss Piggy Gone Wild III: Three Pigs In A Blanket" ummm I mean, how did that get in my stocking uhhhhhhhhh ummmmm.  Anyways, shits been pretty epic recently and I can't wait to tell you all about the shralping and shredding that has gone down as well as some classic lil gems of stories to be told.  So hold tight for now and disregard my last post, it's probably similar to cutting milk ("I can't sir, it's liquid!").      


Shralp ya later fools

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Friday, December 26, 2008

Surf Ambassador Hendo Checks Into Shralp Rehab

Fellas and felines,
there is a lot of joking that goes on around this site and laugh as you may, it is time for me to expose something very serious.  You might want to sit down for this one...  

As you may or may not know I have been addicted to one of the 
strongest highs since the turn of this century... a lethal drug 
they like to call Shralping (weird name I know, but you'll get used to it).  It is a nasty habit filled with urine soaked wetsuits, sea water nose drips, and chaffed arm pits.  Ever since I took that first ride at age 10, nothing could ever satisfy my craving to shralp, shred, and get inside of some tubes.  As time went on, my addiction got worse and worse and it wasn't until I awoke in Gallup, New Mexico in a Motel swimming pool riding a kick-board, getting barreled by a security guard's tall boy, and claiming to have found the secret to Archy's laybacks that I realized I had a problem.

 Fortunately enough, my friends and family organized a recent intervention and sat me down to chat.  Some said "Hendo your shralping has gotten out of control, all you talk about is Slates, Chopes, and Pipe.  You have a problem and need some help. "  Others said: "Dude you totally froth too much shralping and foam the shred gnar sticks till the shimmy of gnarls barks can't amp or grom k anymore fool".  I took their words to hart and said: "Thank you, I understand, excuse me for a sec I need to use the Lou."  So I calmly walked to the rest room, locked the door, and jumped out the fackin window and started furiously sprinting as fast as I could!  It was no use, they were immediately hot on my trail with Doberman Pinchers nibbling at my socks and leashes wrapped in their hands like gangster chains.  Finally I gave chase and they hog tied me with leashes until I couldn't feel my ween anymore.  So alas my friends, I sit here on the porcelain throne and write to you all about checking in to Shralp Rehab.  If any of you have been in my shoes, I would surely enjoy some mental support or advice on how to get through the days without saying the word "froth" or doing a floater tweak just to get me by.  It's going to be a tough journey but I think it's time for me to come clean and be a normal human again.  

So that's where I've been and that's why I haven't had many posts up recently but do be expecting more posts coming your way cause I've got a shit load of shit that has gone down and am uber psyched to tell all you freaks all about it. Actually just got back from the North Shore a few days ago and am gona do a whole in depth post about that little slice of heaven.  

I will keep you all posted on my progress but everyone knows: you can take the boy out of the shralp but you can never take the shralp out of the boy.
Here goes nothin...  

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

Breaking News: CJ Hobgood Wins The O'Neill World Cup of Surfing!

The former 2001 World Champion, CJ Hobgood, is on fire! With style and grace, he shredded the shit out of Sunset today and was unstoppable from start to first place finish! That's right folks, CJ won the O'Neill World Cup of Surfing today at Sunset Beach, Hawaii! When watching CJ on the live web cast today, it was evident that he was completely focused, energized, and determined to pull of this win. With a sick backside tube scoring him a 9.33 in his first heat of the day against his brother Damien and local boy Marcus Hickman, he set the standard of shralp for the day and did not slow down for a single second! His victory winning wave that he snagged with minutes left in the final was a monstrous bitch that warbled like Rosanne Bar at Sizzler! Not only did he make the drop, he freaking did the gnarliest snap on what could have easily been a 12 ft wave at least(Roy Powers and the crew inthe web cast booth claim it was the biggest wave of the day). With a pretty good turn out at Haleiwa and a phenomenal win today at Sunset, CJ is now standing in second in contention for winning the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing! Just a smidget behind Maui boy Dusty Payne...
My hats of to CJ today for a stellar performance and I wish him the best of luck at Pipe and the rest of the Triple Crown!
More updates coming soon
What a great day! THIS IS SURFING!

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Aussie Posse


Not only do the Aussies have the upper hand on Cali as far as quality waves go (D-Bah, Superbank, King Island, Yallingup, The Box...) I think most of them have also got us beat in the comedy department as well(not to mention partying).
Australia is like California on meth... everything we do, they do a lil better, wilder, and funnier. Don't get me wrong, I love Cali, always have and always will, but fack mate, look at some of this hilarious shit and gnarly shit that is coming out of Oz right now (find me funnier or gnarlier Cali shit and I will ride a Moray sponge with APE gloves and a squid lid for a week!):

-The ever so classic and legendary tale of Cory Worthington:

-The Bra Boys:

-Summer Heights High:

Last but not least, this fucking spider email guy! (READ THE WHOLE THING! Sooo hilarious!):

Aussie Shralpers of honorable mention:
Taj "What, no blowies?" Burrow, Joel Parkinson, Mick "Eugene" Fanning, Dion Agius, Dean "Dingo" Morrison, Mitch Coleborn, Wayne "Rabbit" Bartholomew, Jay "Bottle" Thompson, Steds, Ry Craike, Muns, Eags, Mick "Keg on legs" Lowe, and never to forget Mark "It's a misty morning!" Occhilupo.

I will most likely be moving to OZ within a year or 2, see you there.
Peace sauce
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Saturday, November 29, 2008

How To: Pro-Gress

Ello there disciples of shralp,it's another lovely day down here in the land of Jewels! Had an epic Thanksgiving filled with frothy myrts, shralpy waves, and the good ol' fashioned flu! Having a cold/flu at thanksgiving is like having to take a shit on a Tuesday... not fun! The worst part about it was the fact that everyone knows that there will be waves on Thanksgiving, as has been the case for the past 10 years (I think it has something to do with the Mayflower's wake? joke drum? dun dun sheesh!). Anywhoo, we are gathered here today to talk with non other than myself about progressing your surfing skillz.

Experimenting with your surfing skills can be fun but also dangerous at the same time (kinda like visiting the glory hole at 127 San Pedro street behind the taco stand ummmmm I mean ummmmmm ummmm I don't know what the fuck you are talking about?!!). On the one hand, you have to experiment to progress and go to new places with your surfing. However, on the other hand you don't want to be pushing yourself to the point where you leave the water everyday with a 13 stitched fat lip that makes you look like a friggin cartoon dinosaur (I should know, this happened to me, no joke, ask Hsoj). So where is the happy medium? The happy medium lies somewhere in between.

You ought to first think to yourself for a moment and ask:
a) "where do I want my surfing to go? "
and b) "why do I surf?"

If you're anything like me and have been uber obsessed with the new flicks out on the streets these days like Stranger Than Fiction and the likes, then you probably answered
a) "I want to do rodeo flips, air reverses, and surf like Dane"
and b) "so I can get some ass."
For those of you who this applies to and are older than 20 years of age, have a job, or other full time commitments that keep you out of the water, two words of advice: "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES SUSAN!" Don't worry though, you are not alone, I once was just as naive as you. I once thought I could drop out of college, surf all day, and become pro within 4 years. Who knows, may be I could have, but things are much more different now (shoulda woulda coulda).

The straight up caliber of surfing that is being thrown down these days by pros ontop of the level of athleticism that they so frequently display is much gnarlier than any of us could have ever imagined! Sad but true, the obvious standard for even being considered for a sponsorship these days is a bare minimum ability to pull off flawless air reverses (and that might just get you a Fro-Yo sponsor or some bull shit like that). Take a look at these groms for example, bet they're a hell of a lot better than you:

One fact remains, surfing has gotten Gnarls Barkx! It's gotten Bob Gnarly! It's gotten Burlington Coat Factory on our asses! Etc Etc. Needless to say, surfing has reached an unfathomable pinnacle. So what does this all mean?

Do not despair my fine frothy friends, fun is found in foolery (say that 69 times fast, dare you). Progression in surfing is monitored and documented in steps. First, you learn to stand up. Next you learn to go down the line. Then you learn how to pump, bottom turn, top turn, floater, off the lip etc. The progression is obviously similar to any kind of path to mastery; things start off small but gradually increase in skill level, difficulty, and concentration. When you were a kid watching MJ do the moon dance on MTV were you able to immediately start busting sick spins, backwards moon walks, and crotch grabs? No! (well may be except for a few, like legends Wade and Slade). I digress... Progressing in surfing in general is a very long a drawn out process that resembles a gradual sloping curve. Some of us are born with it, most of us are not.

Through my 14 or so years of surfing I have come to notice a thing or two. What I've noticed the most about improvement is that it comes when you least expect it and especially when nobody is watching ("did ja see that Kerr flip I just did?" Nope!). Here are some helpful hints that ought to better you on your way to progressing your surfing:

1. Water Time!
If time in the water could be physically measured by something like notches on a belt, Kelly Slater could open a Belt Barn the size of 4 and a half Disney Worlds (I should know, I measured and did the math on my TI86!). Regardless of the lame analogy, the bottom line is: pros spend more time in the water than you spend time sitting in your cubicle, on your couch eating potater chips, and taking shits reading Maxim combined! If you want to get good at surfing, you have to put in the hours, days, months, and years of water time! It's just common sense! The more time you spend in the water, it is truly inevitable that you will at some point start to progress. So do what I started recently doing and get up everyday at 5:40 rain or shine, flat or not, and paddle your tired ass out to your closest line up whether you get to surf for 30 minutes or 2 hours! Just getting out there and being motivated to progress will set you apart from all the other weekend warriors at your local swamp!

2. ADIDAS (All Day I Dream About Shralping)
Whether you're in or out of the water, there should always be two things on your mind:
1) surfing
2) surfing
If you really want to become good at something, you have to be obsessed and dedicated with it both physically (water time) and mentally (adidas). You can get by just doing one or the other, but you can not progress without physically experiencing something and then mentally internalizing the thing you want to get good at. When I'm out of the water all I see is waves and sections to do shit on. Like when I drive down the freeway and see some big hill on the side of the road I'll just fully be mind shralping the shit out of the thing doing backside floater tweaks, to round house cutbacks, and ending with a backside air reverse. Think that's weird? Think again my friends! Most of the pro surfers that I encounter or interact with from time to time, think, talk, and dream about surfing to a point that I can't even come close to! Like just the other day a pro I was hanging with saw the video camera we were using as it quickly tilted back on its tripod head and slammed into the tripod legs; to which he commented: "haaaaa! laaaayyybaaack! sick!". So again, to get good at something, one must involve all of the senses (thinking, feeling, doing, smelling, tasting, etc) to really capture the essence of its being!

Cajones, rasins, crasins, juevos rancheros, berries, scrotels, bubble gum, what ever you want to call 'em, they're the things in between your legs (or for some of you, your ears) that make you sack up and do shit you really don't want to do! Girl or guy, human or dog, surfer or kook, there are many things in life that will bring you great success and happiness but they are never going to be given to you! Life is a risk involving struggles of bravery and valor, especially for things of which you so badly desire! If you really desire progression in your surfing life then take proactive steps to taking risks in your surfing.

One such risk involves traveling the world wide and surfing new breaks that will push you into foreign territories both in and out of the water. Traveling should be in a class of its own due to how much it really grows you as a person, not to mention improves the hell out of your surfing.

Another risk could be to try a new trick you've never tried. What's stopping you from trying to do an air, or a rodeo flip, or a Kerr-Agius? Repetition goes hand in hand with internalization. Sure, the first time you try to bust an alley oop or some shit like that it's gona be weird and awkward but the more and more you do it, the closer and more comfortable you will come to landing it. And guess what, after about 200 tries, I'm sure you will have at least landed one in this lifetime or the next!

All and all progressing your surfing is a complex yet fun adventure because there are so many different kinds of surfing, so many different ways of improving, and so many other people out there who probably have better advice than I (NOTTTTTT!). The bottom line is surfing can be fun, surfing can be work, surfing can be sport, and surfing can be art but at the end of the day surfing is always reality! Never stop the stoke, never fade the Shralp!
Live to ride, ride to Shralp!

until next time, peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeace
-Surf Ambassador Hendo
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Monday, November 24, 2008

E! True Hollywood Story: Sketch Island

Here ye here ye, ladies and gents, the moment you have all been waiting for has risen upon us like a cobra snake at a flute convention! It's about time that I do the honors of introducing my legendary older brother to the show along with the remarkable tale he has to tell about an epic traveling experience he and a few mates had a while back. Andrew has been consistently shralping since the very day we both learned to surf and continues to blow my mind each time we paddle out together. The wisdom, guidance, and knowledge he has given me in and out of the water is truly priceless and all that a little bro could eva ask for. So without further adieu, it is my true pleasure and honor to welcome to the stage my big bro Andrew and his E! True Hollywood Story about "Sketch Island". Hold on tight,cause this is one hell of a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!
Take it away my friend...

Sketch Island
After spending the last ten days surfing consistently head-high waves in the warm Pacific waters off Central America, it is hard to justify my appreciation of the used couch I currently sit on in my humble abode in Bay Park, San Diego, a comfortable nine miles from the beach. That is until one learns about the experiences my friends and I had on a quaint island off the Southern Pacific coast of Central America. Some of the names and places in this recollection have been altered so as to not incriminate any people and or organizations, but I assure you that the following account is absolutely true. I should know—I was there.

Within twenty minutes of leaving aeropuerto internacional, we found ourselves stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on a two-lane urban road entering the heart of the capital. Trying our very best to take in the sights, sounds and smells of a city completely unfamiliar to any of the four of us in the car, we were promptly caught off-guard by a young local male (no more than 18 years old) quickly running past our car and straight to a bulldozer we were currently next to. This startled us but still didn't seem to elicit much conversation as for all we knew, this could have been a common practice in this Central American country (“bulldozer gallivanting” could be popular in this part of the world) but it still managed to catch our attention. However, this attention was minimal compared to that captured by the police officer quickly following with his pistol drawn.

What followed next was something one would only expect to see on an old episode of The Three Stooges as the young man and police officer ran around this bulldozer for what seemed like ten minutes (it was probably about one minute but felt interminable) constantly changing directions as well as the aim of the gun. There were at least five instances in which I was being directly shielded by the pursued, and my mind was racing that should the cop decide to end this fruitless pursuit more quickly, I was in danger of being struck with a bullet that missed its intended target.

Finally, another gun-first police officer appeared on the scene and the two were able to orchestrate a rather simple two-on-one scenario, closing on either side of the bulldozer to capture their suspect. At this point traffic started to move again and as we glanced behind us we were careful to note the forceful knees to the head the suspect was enduring. A sense of "notinSanDiegoanymore" uneasiness began to settle in – though little did we know just how intense the unease would get during our week away from home.

After sleeping that night in a rustic, mosquito-filled cabin, we were awakened early by the anxious boat driver we’d enlisted to take us to our next destination -- a remote private camp on an island about thirty minutes away. We arrived on the island and were greeted by fun four-foot waves directly in front of our room. After surfing once again at a local beach break, followed by dinner and about three beers each, we decided to call it an early night in hopes of good waves the next day on another one of the surrounding islands.The air was rife with anticipation that morning as the wave out front was already a couple feet larger than it had looked the day before during our breakfast observation. The three friends I was traveling with, two other campers, the surf guide/boat driver and I were quick to take down our eggs, toast and coffee in order to hop in the ponga.

We reached the small island and it became clear that there was certainly potential for great surf. We observed a slab of a wave that appeared to be no more than a crazy drop and a slight hint at a backdoor barrel but nothing more. The second wave we checked was a left that lined up a bit more and lent itself to a few turns prior to the next set of boils that were poking their heads out of the water. Three of my companions and I decided to try our luck at this smaller yet more lined up left while the guide and the remaining two decided to paddle out to the bigger slab of a wave.
After a solid hour and a half of trading fun waves with my friends, I noticed that the surf guide was directing the boat back our way. I caught one more fun wave and during my paddle-out noticed my buddy waving us all toward the boat. I wanted to surf some more but figured that someone must have hit the sharp coral reef and we needed to head back to camp for medical attention. Looking back, this would have been the best-case scenario. Upon paddling close to the boat, I was greeted with one of my friends demanding: "Get the hell in the boat...we need to figure something out!" My friend's words seemed to add to the confusion, but after hoisting myself into the boat, the situation quickly became all too clear.

On the bow of the boat was a large bag made of material resembling the cloth used to fashion ponchos one might encounter on the streets of Tijuana. The bag had been cut open, and I could see part of its contents lying next to the larger bundle. Rob, a Humboldt, California, native who can only be described as unique, had decided to cut open the large presumed "pillow" they had seen floating and then hauled into the boat to investigate.

In our estimate, there were close to 20 kilos of pure cocaine that had been broken into distinct bricks, each of which had been vacuum sealed prior to the entire bundle being vacuum sealed in saran wrap, all of which was placed in thin rubber and then finally sealed within the aforementioned burlap sack. Based on a rough per ounce calculation – again, Humboldt Rob adding his expertise and shedding some light on the situation – it was determined that there was roughly $1.75 million worth of pure cocaine. You figure that when cut, that number easily doubles if not triples or quadruples.

Needless to say, a few of the people onboard must have been contemplating their distribution, collection and ultimately laundering schemes. However, for me, there was only one clear choice:

My idea didn’t initially seem to set in with the rest of the crew. The boat driver, a 37- year-old gringo who had been living on the island for the last two years and whose brain surely showed signs of sun damage, offered his opinion that we should probably try to take the package to the nearby naval base. This prompted my immediate rebuttal as to what would happen should we be stopped by Colombians, police, the Coast Guard, etc. en route? What happens if we get to the naval base and they don’t believe us? Aren’t the chances good that someone at the naval base knows who this actually belongs to and would see to it that this package arrives to its intended owner and or get rid of any sheepish gringos who may have stumbled on something they shouldn’t have? As everyone else contemplated my list of hypotheticals, I decided to take matters into my own hands and enact my aforementioned plan. First went the loose brick, which once it landed in the water, quickly started dissolving as Humboldt Rob had chopped into it to make sure it was what he already knew it was. Just to make 100% sure that he hadn’t stumbled upon over fifty pounds of baking soda, he’d decided to take a quick gummer, soon after which he remarked that he couldn’t feel his face.

Others on the boat soon took notice and decided my actions were the best plan of attack. As I struggled to get the massive bundle of the remaining forty-plus bricks off the side of the boat, I received some assistance from one of my friends. I released a sigh of pure and utter relief once I saw that massive burlap bundle hit the water, but it soon became clear that the relief—if not the sigh itself--was premature.

As my glance strayed from the bundle, I noticed a boat on the horizon that was pointed directly at us. The boat was far off but appeared to be traveling at Mach 4 speed, with bow looking almost vertical. It seems that our hearts jumped into our throats at the same exact second and we looked right at the driver, who didn’t need to hear a word to know what we were telling him; the 60 horse power motor on our small surf ponga puttered to a start on his third attempt.
As we crept back to the island that was the seemingly thousands of miles away (really only 12 but at about 18 miles an hour with Colombians hot on your tail, that is really far) our collective gaze was affixed on this boat, which was getting closer by the second. The boat and its occupants seemed to be gliding above the water, not at all affected by the slight wind chop that had settled on the water about an hour before.

Once we appeared to be about a quarter of the way to our destination, our suspicions became more evident and the fear in the boat, more palpable. The speedboat that was giving chase was directly in the spot we had just left. My mind became inundated with scenarios but the most prevalent was the scariest: too many eyes had seen what they weren’t supposed to and it would be beneficial for the continuation of business development to quash this little problem.

This theory seemed to become more realistic as I remembered the dissolving brick I had hastily placed back in its salty home and one can only wonder about the tens of thousands of dollars that may have cost someone. I began hatching my plan for what to do when the Colombians inevitably caught up to our boat. Because we had another thirty minutes of puttering through the Pacific before we would reach the camp but it would take less then ten minutes for the Colombians to catch up with us, it was clear that my safe escape from these undoubtedly gun-yielding drug lords would involve creating some sort of air-hole underneath the bow of the boat. I was searching for PVC piping, hollow motor parts, possibly the lens from someone’s camera, anything that would lend itself to a quick MacGyver-made snorkel.

As we inched our way closer to the island, the drug boat slowly started to recede into the distance. We continued to hold our collective breath, as it seemed any exhalation might roust the currently dormant dealers. Finally, we were within a mile of the camp and seemingly clear of any angry Colombians. Our approach to safety brought with it a solemn oath that we all agreed to: No one will speak of this occurrence once we make it back to the camp. There were too many locals living at the camp who might know who that package belonged to, and the last thing we needed was for word to get back to the rightful owners about our discovery.

As the day progressed and the oath was continually pushed to its limits vis-à-vis whispers, murmurs and occasional snickers, life seemed to be on the up and up. That is until we noticed a small boat making its way into the expansive cove the camp rested in. The binoculars circulated from person to person, each weighing in on whether they thought it was the same boat. The “yays” had it four votes to three. There was a large antenna pointing from the cabin area, which we presumed was utilized during the GPS locating of their stash. The boat seemed to be trolling and didn’t appear to me to be capable of the speed we’d witnessed.

The boat never got closer then a mile offshore of the camp, and as it continued back in the direction from whence it came, we were left feeling its temporary proximity may have been a warning. A warning from the owners of the precarious package that we unknowingly stumbled upon but undoubtedly hampered with. A warning that we were to keep our mouths closed because they know where we were. A warning reminding us of things that could have been – lost riches, lost friends, lost lives.As I fell asleep that night on that small island my mind raced with what I had witnessed that day and the potential Colombian infiltration that awaited us that night. My escape plan included a Jackie Chan-esque move out the screen window and hightailing it through the rainforest surrounding the camp. I had visions of living in the trees for a few days, feasting on any grub worms I stumbled upon and making a fashionable yet secure loincloth out of palm fronds. My thoughts took a quick turn toward the loved ones I’d left back at home and how much I wished I could reach out to them and tell them how much they mean to me and why it takes a life-threatening experience to make you appreciate what you have. My worries and preoccupations faded as my loved ones kept me company that night, and as I clutched at the last moments of consciousness, I knew I had been extraordinarily lucky – life seemed far too tangible that morning. but the gratefulness for another chance to do things right brought me comfort as the evening engulfed me. 

- Andrew Bayer
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Panamaniacs 2008

Panamaniacs 2008
Hola amigos,
so as you all may or may not know, my brother Drewzer shralps and our 3 friends Caesar, The Horse, and Barker all shralp as well. It just so happens that this crew of young shralpers got together a few weeks ago and ventured down south to the dark depths of Panama. As I shoved them off for their voyage at LAX, I slipped my camera into their luggage and said "if it moves, film it". And indeed they did!
The footage i got back from these guys was nothing short of wild! I mean talk about adventure! Not only does the video I edited of these guys entitled "Panamaniacs 2008" depict the tale of their radical sabbatical, it also shows the gratitude and satisfaction that comes with taking risks in life and traveling the World round! Check out the video for now!
Check it:

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Monday, November 10, 2008

Hangin With Da Gudauskas Bros

Yo, pardon the delay on the posts, but the ambassador has been busy as a naked mole rat lately!

Anyway, here's a quick post about my encounter with the Guauskas brothers the other day with my work. Super chill cats who shralp the shit outa anywhere they go!
Sit tight for now, cause there is plenty more freakishly glorious content on its way!
The Gudauskas Bros

Load up the board bags, pack your trunks, and hop on the plane, it's time to get dialed in for the North Shore season again! Everyone at my work has been amping to get out to Hawaii and begin documenting the radness of the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing and it just so happens that we picked up some uber shredders along the way. The other day, we stopped by San Clemente and met up with the Gudauskas brothers as they prepared for their epic voyage out to Hawaii. Upon reaching the Gudauskas' pimp pad, we were greeted by the fully stoked faces of Tanner, Dane, and Patrick just as they were loading their 30 boards into their truck headed straight for LAX. As of lately, Cali has had some decent waves, but the boys were more than ready to leave their wetsuits behind and venture out to shralp in the tropical land full of sick pits and frothy faces. As we barged up to LAX, the Gudauskas bros gave us some incredible insight about their experiences, predictions, hopes, and thoughts about everything that is the Triple Crown. With the the classic entertainment of the Gudauskas Trestles Trio, the Triple Crown TV show is already off to an amazing start and will definitely be something you won't want to miss!

Stay tuned for more updates involving: a naked man running through Panama, a boat filled with shneeks, chocolate barrells, my freakish toe, a super fun Wind An Sea swell, the Spring Street Shralper's double mission, and much much more!

Keep the faith, and always be shralping!

Shout out to Cam Cam C-Train aka El Chingon De Mierda!
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Sunday, October 26, 2008


Yo mates,
after a nice shralp filled weekend back home with me mates in La Jolla, I reckon it's time to start getting some more shit up here cause there has been so much happening since we last spoke. I've got some great up and coming stories from some friends that just took an epic adventure in Central America filled with waves, women, and weirdness (that's an understatement). So stay tuned for that tale and other such weirdness coming your way.
For now, check out this Surfline clip of Andrew Mooney dropping into what could be considered the GNARLS BARX.EDU of gnarly wave surfing. Check out this Shipstern triple-up he somehow comes out of unscathed (mind blowing!):

Just paste this link into your browser and watch (try not to crap yourself though)

Hold on tight for some more mayhem headed straight at cha!

photo thanks:
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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Re: Kook Kuestion of The Weak #0001

Howdy folks,
I have just been getting bombarded by responses regarding the first eva Kook Kuestion of The Weak! (If bombarded means 1 response!). And so I thought I'd post the first response. The first response comes from a fellow named Manyellis (and quite the legend he is).
In regards to my question asking:
Is it a good or bad idea to put super glue over your cut to seal it before you go in the water?
Manyellis writes:

--super glue on the cut is the best trick was shown to me by a doctor who surfs and I use it all the time. Basically it works with any cut you get even if you don´t want to surf.
Love the blog! Keep up the good work!--

Thanks for the response and the kind words Manyellis! You just won yourself a free pair of Webbed Surfing Gloves made by APE!
if you guys couldn't tell already, I've made some new features available on the site. Now you can add frothy comments or bash on blogs that you think I bonked it on. Also, there's a few buttons that you can press that let me know whether you though it was interesting, funny, cool, or if I just straight up kooked it on some posts. Feedback is progress, progress is bling, bling is biotches, biotches is reality, reality is life, life is the dream. Let me know where I stand so I can get off your feet.
Thanks for listening

Photo Thanks
Wilbur Photo from:
Wardo photo from:
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Monday, October 20, 2008

How To Do Frontside Reverses with The Reverse King Himself

How To Do Frontside Reverses with The Reverse King Himself

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
Today you are in for a special treat (no, Mervin's has not gotten in their limited edition Blue Crush shants yet, still waiting!). Today I'd like to welcome to the stage a Mr. Bradley Margol, better known to the public as "The Reverse King". The first time I shralped with The Reverse King himself, I was taken aback by a tail waft tornado of tumultuous turmoil that sprayed everyone all the way from sands to the Nile. As time passed and we shralped the fecal shores of beer littered sands and peskies, it soon became known that The Reverse King could land reverses on the drop of a dime with a consistency like that of Larry Bird.
The reverse maneuver first started seeing it's stardom in Kelly Slater's: Kelly Slater- Black and White, in an ironic section entitled "reverse". As a grom, seeing Slates bust both frontside and backside reverses made me think that there must have been some sort of toilet bowl under the lip he smacked that somehow made him spin in that most elegant cycle. Boy was I wrong! As time progressed and high performance surfing started getting weirder and weirder, the reverse made it's fashionable comeback in the late 90's and groms everywhere were frothing at the mouth to try and land one of these things. Luckily, on our side today, we have the expertise of The Reverse King to help us better understand how to execute these tricks and on the other hand we have the medical brilliance of BENGAY to ease our groin after many failed attempts!

Without any further adue, Reverse King take it away:

Hey so heres my attempt at explaining frontside reverses.
1) Look for a steep section when approaching the lip and and aim all of your momentum at your desired section.
2) As you approach the section, begin the turn like you are going for a normal off the top, but as your board begins to turn back down the face, shift the majority of your weight to your front foot and try to slightly bury the nose of the board into the wave (I find grabbing the rail drastically improves your balance and stability through the move).

3) As your nose rail gets buried into the wave (and most of the weight is still under your front foot), your tail will start to release. Once your tail begins to slide, make sure your shoulder follws through the turn, thus continuing the momentum through a full 360 maneuver.

4) From there, slowly adjust your weight back to your back foot and stay centered on the board (Once again, grabbing the rail makes this much easier). Then, the fins will catch again, helping you to complete the full rotation. Then it is a just a matter of balance and staying centered on the board.

haha there you go man..hope that helps. Peace

Thank you Reverse King, all Hail! Well that's about it for tonight folks, stay tuned for the next post of weirdness, mayhem, and straight up shralpness!
Froth it

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Friday, October 17, 2008

Kook Kuestion of The Weak #0001

Kook Kuestion of The Weak [sp]

I thought I would add an additional feature to this page and add a section entitled: "Dumbass Question of The Weak" (it's a double play on words if you are smart enough to phi-gure it out).

Anyways, it goes something like this. Sometimes I get these random questions out of nowhere that may seem common sense to some but perplexing to others (like me). So I figure why not try and get some of you involved with solving some of these dumbass questions that constantly plague my head (or may be yours). So for this initial post I will ask the question but from time to time I will be posting user submitted questions sent to me via email (

So here goes,
My Dumbass Question of The Weak is as follows:

Is it a good or bad idea to put super glue over your cut to seal it before you go in the water?

The reason I ask is cause I was surfing El Ports on Monday and was doing a little backside carve but decided I wasn't that into the carve mid-turn so my body pulled off but my back foot stayed on. As my back foot stayed on, the lip crashed on my foot and tweaked my ankle downward and it began to hurt like a Siamese ninja taking a turd on a Tuesday . I shook it off and tried to keep surfing but it still hurt like a biotch so I decided to go in and lo and behold I got outa da water to a slightly bloody red foot (was thinking "grrrreaaattt").

I wanted to surf really bad today since I kinda got out of my surfing routine and hadn't surfed for 3 days. As I was suiting up, something jumped in my mind that I remember hearing someone once say that they put super glue on their cut to seal it, so I figured why not and lathered that shit on there like gravy on a thanksgivin turks.I'm not sure if that was a good idea or not cause on the one hand my foot doesn't feel any better but on the other I still got to shralp (thus my mantra ASNMW = Always Shralp No Matter What).

I dunno, you tell me, was that a dumbass thing to do?
all replies sent to:
or just comment on this post
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Yo Fools,
so I've been supa busy with tons of shit and haven't been able to keep posted on the surf world as much as usual. Howeva, I still wana keep my masses entertained and on their feet. So for now, check out my latest list of some classic songs that I'm rockin in my iPod to pump me up for some classic air sessions at the shit spots around here.
Surf Ambassador hINDIE's Playlist:
"Escape the nest" by the Editors
"Tesselate" by Tokyo Police Club
"One For The Cutters" by The Hold Steady
"Electric Feel" by MGMT
"Beyond the Waves" by Years Around The Sun
"Lights and Music" by Cut Copy
"Ooh La" by The Kooks
"Laughing All The Way To The Plank" by Elle Milano
"Walking On A Dream" by Empire of The Sun
"Can't Go Back" by Primal Scream
"Backass" by Karen O
"And I Was A Boy From School" by Hot Chip
"Ships and Clouds" by Jim Noir"
"Death" by White Lies
"Sex On Fire" by Kings of Leon
and of course "Rebellion (Lies)" by Arcade Fire (Ultimate Classic!)
Download those things fool!
One of those songs is definitely a part of the top ten best songs ever used in a surf video. $5 to the first person who can name it!
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Thursday, October 9, 2008

How To: Snarf Kooks Out Da' Water With Special Guest Snarf McMeowskers

How To: Snarf Kooks Out Da' Water 

Ladies and Gentleman,
it is with much warmth, pleasure, and happiness that I welcome my first ever guest speaker to the podium. Today we are going to be hearing from a fellow who goes by the name of "Snarf McMeowskers"; and let me say he's quite the jolly good fellow indeed. You may know sir Snarf McMeowskers from such films and TV shows as "Dancing With The Stars; It Takes 2 To Tango", "Where'd My Baunch Go?", and "Sir, You Are Snarfing On My Foot!". Without further adue, please welcome my first guest as he explains his first Part of a 2 part series on: "How To Snarf Kooks Out Da' Water". (Disclaimer: the thoughts and views written below are those of a sir Snarf McMeowskers. Surf Ambassador Hendo takes no responsibility for lewd or offensive remarks or when you crap yourself after reading this). Take it away Snarf:

Snarfing Kooks Out Da’ Water
By “Snarf” McMeowskers

Every tribe has it’s battle cry… Muslims say "Allahu Akbar", US Marines shout “Ooh-rah”, Xena Warrior Princess yells “Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi”& even Da Hui has one. Now, after reviewing this list, you will notice that they all have one thing in common. If you hear any of their battle cries you immediately know two things: who they are and to not get in their way. Ignoring these battle cries will yield you but two grisly results you want nothing to do with. Either get blown to bits or have your pathetic shaft and dingle berries handed to you on a silver saw toothed frisbee by the only woman who managed to make Chyna bleed more than she menstruated during her 97’ WWF debut with Triple H (my sources at TMZ say that she was pumping out close to 2 liters in those days; read no tampons, just down pillows for this beefcake).

So what does this have to do with you? Well, if you shralp as hard as I do or consider yourself nothing less than a surfer you wouldn’t be asking that question. It’s time that all of the uninitiated comprehend what all the barnyard noises in my precious lineup are about so you don’t end up like Chyna. So please, take heed you ninnies as your about to get a lesson in Snarfing 101.
“Snarf” is a word that I’ve adopted from the glorious 80’s non-fictional television series known as “Thundercats”. “Snarf” was the name of the biggest pussy (and smallest cat) in the “Thundercats” crew… However, should you hear “Snarf” pipe up and “Snarf” his ass off you can be sure that Lionel, supreme leader of the “Thundercats” who wore nothing but a pair of titanium speedos and bore a 6 foot electric sword, would be there in two shakes of a lambs tale to square off. Having said this, it is obvious that with this word comes a great responsibilty.

“Snarf” is a simple word with a complex subtext. It is my battle cry, my mating call and my faux paux. Just as it’s distinguished past, it deserves as much love and respect as you give your little tube steak. It can be a warning, a threat or promise and can be used on the streets, in the disco, or in the lineup. However, there is an etiquette involved and a few do's and don’ts that will maximize both the intent and desired effect of your prospective “Snarf”.


Stay tuned for the next episode when Snarf actually breaks down the dynamics and shows us How To do this so called "Snarf" move.  I know I can't wait... can you?
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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Slater's World Title Winning Heat

Yooooo Fools
I've been super busy lately working on ideas and working with people on ideas about ideas of ideas. So needless to say the ideas are flowin and there's gona be some sick shit blowin this site up soon. But for now, hold tight and take a quick peek at Slater's World Title winning heat brought to you by
Enjoy and stay posted for some pure madness heading your way...
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Monday, October 6, 2008

Surf Check: Dis Last Weekend

Westside Wesell is that you?

Surprisingly the waves were kinda fun this weekend. Surfed wit da boyz on Saturday out at El Ports and every now and then there'd be a racy little chest high bump that you could shralp to the inside to get a nice lil float tweak or off the lip on. Sunday was pretty fun as the jetty up north had a bit more form than the close out bombs that you could pull in Briley style if you so desired (I know I did, I am super obsessed with close out barrels now). But ya, all and all pretty fun weekend and all o' da boyz were straight up shralping fools left and right. Can't complain, can't complain one bit there Roger (<---- wtf?).
Anyways, today was still pretty fun and occasionally there'd be a freak set that you could race for a second, pull into, dream that you were actually getting pitted in Indo, and get thrown to the sea floor and get some nice rug burn on your ass!
All and all it was a good weekend for surfing and an even better one for float tweaks, but that's another story. I'm heading out again tomorrow and who knows what kind of air reverse awaits me. All I know is that if I keep up this streak of surfing everyday for the next month I'm either A) gona turn into a lobster faced quazi-moto or B) become the shralp dawg that I was meant to be and straight up lemon fools left and right. I reckon I ought to try and beat that old dude's record for surfing everyday. Show me da money and we're on brosifs!
Anyways fools, see yous in the waters

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I Will Buy You The World...

I Will Buy You The World...
If you can find me this secret spot that CJ, Damo, and Noodles (Websta) shralp the shit outa in Globe's Secret Machine (which by the way is one of the sickest surf films to date if you haven't seen it already). This secret spot is pretty much the pinnacle of every goofyfooter's dream wave. Perfect pealing little shacks with a perfect launch section at the end. Could be a bit bigger but beggars can't be choosers eh? Anyways..check this little slice of heaven out and try not to crap yourself:

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Friday, October 3, 2008


Numba 9!
Check this vid for now until I post a more detailed descripsh later.

p.s. El Port was kinda fun today. There's definitely some swell in the water still! Just don't let the wind hit it or you'll be shit out of luck's creek with no oar (or whatever that saying is, whatevaaaa)
Have a good weekend
check back later for more updates
Surf AmbASS Hendoneeeej

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Thursday, October 2, 2008

10/02/08 Surf Report: El Porto

I surfed this morning at El Porto at the break of dawn up until I had to charge over to work at 8:40 so unfortunately I wasn't able to snap some photos. Guess you're just gona have to take my word for it that there were actually some wave-a-leenz today.

When I first paddled out and snagged a few fun ones, it was about 3 ft, fast, little lines, with a section at the end. After waiting for a bomb for about 20 minutes, I finally satisfied my appetite and got a nice little barrell (I know, I know, "CLAIMER!"). In fact, it was probably the first barrell I've squeezed out of in months (fuacccck!).

Anyways, true to El Porto form it was definitely closing out but every now and then you could manage to get an in-betweener that you could snag a snap or float from.
Overall, today was just fun to get out there and pull into some close out barrells just for the hell of it. It was definitely the biggest I've surfed El Porto in weeks with bomb sets reaching about chest high (if you were lucky). But again, that ain't sayin much...

Anyways, hit me up this weekend if you wana rally outa the city of Angels and shralp some real waves with me and my Spring St. Shralpers (holla to apt 10-B wuzzzz up?)

Froth you later
Surf Ambassador Hendo

p.s. do you have a shout out or wana holla at someone? email me with shout-outs, hollas, questions, or concerns at

Shout out to da homie "Lil Rot" aka Ian Rotgans shralping this shit! yea rot!
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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

10/01/08 Surf Check; El Porto

Man, I don't mean to hate so much on here about the waves at El Porto because I definitely have had some fun sessions out here before, but the one thing that always gets to me about this wave is how crowded it gets for how shitty it is. But that's just the way surfing has gotten pretty much everywhere; overpopulated. Oh well, beggers can't be choosers. When in Rome. Anyways that's another story (water under the bridge mate)...

Today actually looked kinda fun with the occasional waist to chest high set with glassy somewhat closed out corners. There were definitely a few corners out there that were indeed make-able but for the most part, the sets just didn't hold their form. Nonetheless it looked like a nice day to get out and shralp around. Witnesses say: "it was small, crowded, doubling up, cold, but there was an occasional fun one".
This section looked kinda fun that this guy snagged.
Here's a lil OTL (off the lip) this guy managed to shneek.
Crouching tiger hidden kook.
The crowd
Close out or ramp section?

FREAK SET OF THE DAY (pardon the shaky hands, still hungover from last night eh? eh? eh?)

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Tuesday, September 30, 2008


I'm feeling a little fin-icky...
With the introduction of the tri-fin surfboard sometime in the eighties, it was obvious that constant and rapid changes were occurring in the evolution of surfboards and the way we ride waves. Several years later, more fascinating breakthrough technology was on the rise and a new fin system took the market by storm. The FCS fin system brought with it the first interchangeable fin system. Now not only was traveling twice as easy, but surfers could try out different fins to cater to their style of surfing and the conditions of the ocean. Today, a brand new online fin company is here to change the face of surfboard business and progression as we know it.
A website entitled has a new fin testing program called Finatic. Finatic is a blend of a genius business strategy and a brilliant fin program that takes surfing experimentation to the next level. Similar to the online DVD phenomenon Netflix, Finatic is an online fin store that lets you rent any set of FCS or Future fin you like for however long you desire. Finatic describes that their online store contains "virtually every set of fins that FCS and Future Fins have to offer. (Twin, Thruster, Quad and Longboard)". With a monthly membership fee costing only $19.99, the online Fin testing program seems like quite the deal. All you have to do is sign up online, choose the top 3 set of fins you'd like to rent, surf on them till you want to try a new set, mail your old ones in, and wait a day or two for your new set. The possibilities of taking your surfing to the next level are now fully unlimited!
I know I'm going to give the site a try and test out those Future's I've been eyeing for quite some time now. Who knows, may be they are the missing element to why I can't land those garsh darn no handed double backflip 720's?

Finatic can be found HERE

Stay posted within the next couple of days cause I just made a discovery that is twice as cheap and twice as exciting as Finatic, but I can't tell you about it yet because I have-FIN't posted it .
until next time, froth is homies!

p.s. Shout out to Meigmort! I saw you shaving your bangs behind the dumpster of Los Gross last weekend and thought you might like some lobsta juice to see your own reflection and how rad you look. I left your gift behind Dick's Liquor.

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